So I had my first book signing last night at Barrington Books. And I have Jill Smokler to thank for helping me calm my ridonkulous mommy insanity nerves in the days leading up to the event. As a friend and fellow author, Jill reminded me that people will come. I live in this town, and there will be no mysterious illness that keeps them from stopping by. She put me at ease and frankly shut me up when she tweeted about my event, which made me grin from ear to ear. I had been wallowing in my own Nutella-induced mommy insomnia pity party, fearing no one would remember the date, the time or the place. That the rain would damper everything and I would be reading my chapter on the Pains and Pleasures of Playdates to myself and the lovely girl who works behind the counter. That I would be signing three copies – to my husband, daughter and son. But, Scary Mommy was right. Thank you, Jill! They came! The place was packed. And I had a wonderful time chatting and venting (over cheese dip, of course) about my experience of writing and self-publishing How to Spread Sanity on a Cracker! But do you know what really made my night? Not that one of my best friends from high school came with a huge hug and all the support a dear friend needs. Not that one of my best mommy friends showed up 10 minutes before it was over because it was her son’s birthday. Not that so many came with genuine support, asking me to sign copies upon copies of my book. It was when I woke up and found my book sitting in my 11-year-old son’s Hall of Fame display (filled with trophies, autographed footballs and sports memorabilia.) And when he and my daughter hugged me this morning to congratulate me on my first book signing. That’s when I realized this is what it’s all about. I did something that made my kids proud. And that, my friends, is all this mommy needs.

I gave my 8-year-old a ride to school today, and rather than taking my preppy SUV-mobile, we decide to take my husband’s pick-up truck. But this is no ordinary pick-up. It’s a quad-cab white Dodge with no power locks, no power windows and nothing extra, not even a DVD player. I have to stop and roll down the windows manually if I want to talk to someone. My husband loves it because he can haul anything with it and it’s perfect for his business. And boy, does this thing stick out like a sore thumb in our town. Thankfully, because I’m a native Texan, I kind of get a kick out of people’s reactions. Our nieces and nephews take one look at it and shake their heads. Most kids still have no clue how to roll down the windows without a button. So my daughter says to me, as we’re waiting for the truck to warm up (half-way to her school), “Mommy, why is it always colder in Dad’s truck than it is outside?” (It was 50 degrees outside, but felt like 30 in there.)

Raise your hand if you’re relieved that spring break is over. I know you adore your kids, but honestly after 10 days, enough is enough. It was pouring out yesterday and by the end of the day, my kids were arguing like an old married couple. I had HAD it…then smiled to myself knowing that Monday they would be back at school. Can I get an AMEN, sistah?

I brought my son and his friends to the movies the other night. They were all perfect gentlemen. Then, on the ride home, the M&M’s kick in. They are talking louder, faster and giggling. One after the other, they ask if I can turn up the radio. Before I know it, they’re singing, dancing and talking about girls. Every one of them is talking about girls except my son, whose lips are sealed. Not with mom in the car, right? Let’s just say, I caught another glimpse of what it’s going to be like when he becomes a teenager.

You forgot to sign your son’s school forms and you have to hear about it from your kid and his teacher the next day.

I swear I just had my roots done a few weeks ago, but it is winter time in New England. And you know what that means? Your dark roots will start to show a mere three weeks after a highlighting. I love my hair stylist. Patrick is the best. It’s not his fault I have dirty blond hair and I live in Rhode Island. This never happened when I lived in Texas, and I digress. I’m here to let you know it’s OK to let your roots shine, girls. It happens from time to time. Do you know how many moms out there don’t even have the time to get their hair done professionally? They’re lucky to fit in a shower in between all the night feedings and toddler tantrums. One of my dearest friends brought my roots to my attention to my surprise when I was working full-time. At the time, my son was three and my daughter was six months old. Oh my, I remember those days. A shower was an accomplishment. I have a mommy friend that shares pictures of her dark roots on Facebook, God bless her! Here’s a thought: The next time your friend shares her root rage with you, offer to take care of her kids for a couple of hours so she can have some time for herself and get her hair done.

You get “called out” by your daughter for not remembering to iron the little patches on her Brownie sash because it’s two days before you have a house full of visitors and it was the last thing on your mind but if visitors weren’t coming and you didn’t have a mound of Golden Retriever fur in every room, it would be the first thing on your mind.

My friend recently shared a dessert recipe with me that’s so easy, it practically brought tears to my eyes. Not only does it include Oreos, but cream cheese too. Actually these are the only two ingredients you need. I’m totally serious. I’m a sucker for an easy recipe that tastes great. My son and daughter are huge fans. For those times when you just don’t have enough time to bake, make up a batch of these and I promise you won’t get made fun of by even your most Martha Stewart-like friends. (If you prefer all natural ingredients, try using all-natural sandwich cookies as an alternative or make up a batch of homemade cookies and follow the recipe below.)

Ingredients:

-1 pkg of Oreo Cookies – crushed

– 1 – 8 oz. cream cheese – softened

Directions: Mix crushed Oreo’s and cream cheese together. Roll into bite size balls. Chill in freezer and serve. Chill leftovers. Waa laa!

Here’s a brainstorm: Pop a wooden stick in each ball, place them in the freezer and waa laa, you have Oreo Cake Pops. You can also drizzle frosting, melted semi-sweet chocolate chips or white chocolate over them to make them even more fabulous.

Do you suffer from discount addiction? Red tag retail therapy? Check out my guest blog post on scary mommy today, where I share one of my own scary mommy confessions. Famous Scary Mommy blogger, Jill Smokler, has written a new book, Confessions of a Scary Mommy. Check it out!

I recently ran into a mommy acquaintance at the grocery store. I call her that because I honestly don’t know her name and I don’t know much about her, except the fact that she lives in the same town. But she always walks around acting like a snotty you-know-what. Hello, we’re not in high school any more.  So, we crossed paths every other aisle. I always smile at her, but she never smiles back. When we get to the deli section, she acts rudely to the woman working behind the counter and doesn’t even pretend to be polite. She honestly acts like she has a stick up her butt. The last straw for me was when I tried to make small talk with her at the check-out line. When she blatantly ignores me, I know I’ve hit my limit. When was the last time you encountered a mean mommy? Share your story here, without naming names, of course.

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