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Venting Sessions

~ where moms can let it out

Venting Sessions

Monthly Archives: February 2013

Mom Before Mom: Memories from the Crib

26 Tuesday Feb 2013

Posted by Jackie in Uncategorized

≈ 10 Comments

Friend and fellow blogger, Carla Molina Martins, from www.allofmenow.com, started a writing prompt that’s meant to inspire you to write about your life before you became a mom, called the “Mom Before Mom Project”. I have been in a slump lately, using every excuse in the book (including my own book-related stuff) to get going on this cool series. But this week, I thought to myself, “Myself,” I said. “Enough is enough”. Carla has inspired me to jump in and write a post any time, so I thought, “Why not? I’ll go for it this week.”

In her latest post, she asks the question: What was bedtime like for you as a child? Here is my Jackie Tangent-inspired answer!

You know how you study your rear off in college, but you can’t remember a thing when you start your first real job? Then one day, out of the blue, stuff starts coming back to you? Random stuff? Stay with me here: That’s how I am with childhood memories. I can’t remember everything, but I do recall bits and pieces about my bedtime routine growing up in the suburbs near Houston, Texas.

You may think I’m crazy, but I honestly remember listening to music in the crib. Now, my family did not travel by bus, playing guitars and singing songs. My mom may have WANTED to raid Shirley Jones’ closet, but we were not by any means The Partridge Family. My crib was in the front bedroom with puke-green carpeting and a groovy stereo with a record player. My parents would play music on that stereo every night to help me fall asleep. I had tubes put in my ears as a baby and would cry a lot at night. But songs by bands like Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, Simon & Garfunkel, The Eagles, and The Beatles filled the room and helped soothe me to sleep.

Even as a toddler, songs like Teach Your Children literally ended up in my dreams.When I was at Texas A&M University (Gig em Aggies!), I reviewed music for the university newspaper. I once wrote a review for an album (yes I said album) featuring acoustic remakes of some of Neil Young’s classics, and when I played the CD, I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone. The music literally felt like it was a part of me and my life. It sent me back to that room, where I fell asleep to the sounds from the stereo. The music was so nostalgic; it was like going back in that house again, with the God-awful floral 70’s wallpaper, shag carpet and yellow pleather sofa.

As my brother and I got a little older, I remember how my parents always sent us to bed early (maybe 8 p.m.) during the week, but on special nights, we got to stay up late and watch shows like Sha Na Na, Donny & Marie and Dance Fever. It was the best! Oh, I remember what life was like before VCRs, DVDs, DVRs, and cell phones. My brother (two years older) and I played with friends in the neighborhood until the street lights came on. We’d come in for dinner, play with toys, maybe a game of Sorry, hug our parents and boom, it was bed time. And my mom would give me a bowl of Cheerios any time I’d stand in my parents’ doorway complaining, “I can’t sleep!”

I remember my dad tucking me into bed and kissing my forehead. He always had a full beard and glasses. Still does, but he is all grey now. And my mom was big on hugs too. She had longer hair back then, and full on bell bottoms. When I had a bad dream about spiders or King Kong, I’d run down the hall to their room and snuggle in between them. I always needed a nightlight because my imagination would go wild. But I always felt safe with my parents. (That’s how I am with my kids today!)

As a teen, bed time was different. It meant my mom was going to use my middle name. My full name.

“Jacqueline Lee, are you still up?” (Guaaaa, mom, I mean really? As I chewed gum and twirled my Rave-permed hair in blue jelly shoes.)

“Jacqueline Lee, it’s time to get off the phone.” (As I chit-chatted on the phone with my best friends.)

“Turn down the music!” (I can still hear the Madonna songs blazing in the background. I also loved Bananarama, the Go Go’s, Led Zepplin, and CSN and other classics too.)

“It’s time for bed.” My room was filled with dorky posters torn from the pages of Tiger Beat and Teen Beat magazines, and I often had a tough time falling asleep. But when I did, I was out like a light.

After all, life was good. I was a happy kid. To this day, when I hear songs I listened to in the crib, I still get all nostalgic. And sleepy. I think I just discovered my cure for Mommy Insomnia…

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How to be a Playdate Hostess with the Mostest

21 Thursday Feb 2013

Posted by Jackie in Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

If you’re new to hosting play dates, it can be a little shocking at first. Will the other parent stay? Will my child share? Will they get along? Do I have to spring clean my house?

Check out my latest Ask Mom Online RI column for some tips to help you ease into it: Ask Mom Play Date article.

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Again, again!

20 Wednesday Feb 2013

Posted by Jackie in Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

There are some things that never get old. Listening to 80’s Madonna songs on Pandora, watching clips of classic Saturday Night Live episodes, re-reading a good book and eating sweets with my kids during their school vacation. (Or any day of the week, for that matter.) We just stopped by a chocolate shop and treated ourselves to some lusciousness after hitting the slopes. We are exhausted but relaxed, and this inspired me to re-post one of my old favorite blog posts, featuring SNL’s The Brownie Husband.

Brownie Husband

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What Did You Do With Your Valentine’s Day Candy?

15 Friday Feb 2013

Posted by Jackie in Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

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On Pajama Jeans and Valentine’s Day

13 Wednesday Feb 2013

Posted by Jackie in Uncategorized

≈ 17 Comments

It’s been one heck of an odd week. And for the love of Amy Poehler, tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. And there’s nothing you can do to change that fact. (Especially when the new oven you ordered was supposed to arrive on Saturday but due to the blizzard, isn’t coming in for another week.) If I have to make one more thing using our Panini maker, I’m going to snap. And I digress.

What CAN a mother do?

1. You CAN pull on a swanky apron and bake tiny pink cupcakes with your daughter’s cupcake maker that Santa thankfully gave her. And decorate them with pink, white and red frosting! Wah-la!

2. You can also use the contraption to bake tiny muffins, tiny pancakes, tiny cookies and brownies. (And anything else you want to keep warm, Tommy Boy.)

3. You CAN make crafty hearts with doilies and construction paper.

4. Tie a pink and red ribbon to your dog’s collar. Even if he’s a male, your kids will appreciate it.

5. You CAN try to come up with something else silly to give your husband so he doesn’t think you forgot about him, even though you don’t really need to celebrate Valentine’s Day to show how much you adore him.

6. You CAN grill him another meal using the Panini maker! And then have wine to level out your temporary mommy insanity.

Our annual tradition on February 14th? We trade gag gifts. And lots of chocolate. My husband gave me candy and Pajama Jeans last year. No, I’m not kidding. It’s part of our Valentine’s Day tradition. I have to say, it really takes the pressure off of this pseudo holiday. For both of you, really. Just go to the Dollar Store and buy the first thing you see and boom, wa-lah, the thought is there. Pressure’s off.

We ALWAYS buy each other thoughtful gifts for our birthdays, Christmas and our anniversary. But this holiday isn’t really big for us. It’s all about the kids. We’ve been married for 17 years, so I highly recommend bringing the expectation level down a notch or two for people who have been together as long as we have. It’s entirely up to you!

And, in case you’re wondering, yes, I still wear my Pajama Jeans. (Just not beyond the driveway.) Happy Valentine’s Day!

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A Blizzard that Blew This Mother Away

11 Monday Feb 2013

Posted by Jackie in Uncategorized

≈ 10 Comments

What a long weekend. I’m talking about Blizzard Nemo. Not the clown fish, but the crazy New England storm that blew this mother away. And made me grateful for every little thing. Like dry socks. Your kids. Husband. Kind neighbors. And fresh milk.

Let’s just say we built a lot of snow forts and memories this weekend. Our kids got to play in the snow for three days straight. They had no school Friday, when the snow first started to fall. They spent hours upon hours playing with other kids in the neighborhood. But unfortunately, they came inside to a freezing house because we lost power the first night of the storm. Growing up in Texas, I’ll admit I know a heck of a lot more about hurricane preparedness than blizzard preparedness.

I never thought we’d lose power in the middle of the winter. And I never fathomed how cold my house would feel WITHOUT heat. (I walked around in ski pants for three days (with last season’s ski passes still hanging from the zipper). I’m just now starting to feel my legs again! We used our truck to charge phones. We lent out shovels, fire logs, and anything we could find. We thanked our lucky stars for the neighbor who has a plow truck. We caught up with the neighbors and even joined them for a blizzard block party.

But things got more serious when the sun went down. Thankfully, we have a fireplace. It was our lifeline. We used it to roast our buns, ski bibs, and breakfast bagels. My husband and I dragged our Queen-size mattress down stairs so we could have a slumber party in front of the fireplace. He took the cot and gave us the mattress. It was a lot of fun cuddling up with the kids, dog, some snacks and a mile of blankets in front of the fire. We used what little battery power was left on the iPad to fire up a movie. We had licorice, cookies and fruit. We were all smiles. Until the fire went out.

My husband spent hours working outside and was sound asleep by 10 p.m. So I was on fireplace night shift. I’d wake up every couple hours, slap my face with a cold hand and put more fire logs on. Another hour or two later, I’d rally and repeat. By 5:30 a.m., my contacts were plastered to my eyeballs, but that was the least of my worries. I was checking my kids to make sure they were warm, positioned in the middle of the mattress, away from the drafty window panes but not too close to the fire. I had become a true mama bear, protecting my cubs from the bitter cold. God bless Laura Ingalls Wilder! How she got through those pioneer winters without North Face ski pants is beyond me.

After going without power in the winter, you start thinking about what’s most important in life. All the frivolous stuff flies out the chimney. Now, there were a lot of people that had it really bad during the storm. Some weren’t so lucky. We were. Although it was scary at times, we never had it bad. We got through it and now, our power is back on and our lives are pretty much back to normal. I have taken two showers. I’m starting to feel human again.

And most of all, we will always have the memories. One day, my kids will tell their grandkids about the Blizzard of 2013! (With a few extra inches of snow added in there, I’m sure!) “We had to walk up hill both ways!”

Going through all this makes you think about what NOT to do next time. So I wanted to share this little list with you.

What NOT to do the next time the weather man predicts a blizzard.

  1. Underestimate the weather man.
  2. Make fun of the old RI “Milk and Bread” mentality. (Or anyone who tells you to over-buy before a storm.) P.S. They are wicked smart.
  3. Think that the power will never go out.
  4. Forget to buy extra UNSCENTED candles.
  5. Forget to take a load of clean socks out of the washer and place them into the dryer BEFORE the power goes out.
  6. Give your dog a bone that causes stomach upset. Poopsicles are not fun, especially during a blizzard.
  7. Forget to run the dishwasher just because it’s not full.
  8. Schedule your new oven to arrive the same day as the storm. (Long story, we’ve been without an oven for two weeks now.)
  9. Load your refrigerator with dairy products.
  10. Argue with your husband about the life and death of any and all dairy products.
  11. Panic about everything.
  12. Eat all the chocolate in the house before the power goes out.
  13. Eat all the chocolate chips too.
  14. Leisurely add every Ritz cracker in the cupboard to your soup the day before the first snow fall and forget to buy a new package.
  15. Think that cold leftover Thai food will qualify as a meal.
  16. Forget to leave the fun board games in the darkest part of the basement where you swear Mike Meyers has been waiting for you since Halloween.

 

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On Mean Girls and Bullies

06 Wednesday Feb 2013

Posted by Jackie in Uncategorized

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

Bullies, www.momgenerations.com, www.onlineri.com

I can’t STAND mean girls. Those fake, shallow, conniving girls in the movie, Mean Girls, make me sick. The sad part is, mean girls are real. And they’re practically everywhere, beyond the playground.

In a recent Ask Mom OnlineRI.com column, “She’s a Bully,” I share advice to help kids deal with bullies. One key piece of advice? Don’t be afraid to tell.

The surprising thing that came from this? After fellow blogger, Sharon Couto of Momgenerations.com, read my column, she was reminded of an experience in high school where she was the VICTIM of a bully. Check out her personal story here where she begs all victims to TELL.

Thank you, Sharon, for opening your heart and sharing your story. May we all learn from it.

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Having one of those days, mom?

05 Tuesday Feb 2013

Posted by Jackie in Uncategorized

≈ 10 Comments

Ever had one of “those” days? Not since my kids were really little (and I would have to hide in a closet so I could conduct conference calls in peace) have I felt so disheveled. (When I’d feel so overwhelmed, walking to the mailbox was considered an accomplishment.)

Pardon my venting, but I’ve got to get this out:

My son is home sick today. My husband works from home. And we’re having work done on the house.

It’s like a hat trick of frustration for any sane work-from-home mom.

It’s all good. I know. Don’t get me wrong. I’m thankful that I get to do fractions with my son and drag out some of my dusty sixth grade brain cells. I’m grateful that I get to spend time with my sweet kid. I’m grateful that we’re finally getting the ceiling fixed in our kitchen and on the second floor too. The workers are really nice and so talkative, they make me look shy. I’m also grateful that my husband works from home. (OK, most days. Like when I have meetings and I get a little break. Sorry, honey. You know I love you. Just need a little space.)

I mean, really? I can’t get anything done today and we’re trapped inside my tiny home office. Without an ounce of motivation. To top it off, my dog is trapped inside with us (or else he would lick the workers to death). I have a feeling he consumed some yard hors d’oeuvres earlier because his breath smells like a city zoo.

Why on a day when my to-do list is overflowing? Sorry, but I’m having one of those days. A day where every time I try to focus and be productive, someone calls for me. Knocks on the door. Walks into the one room we’re trapped in.  Asks for something. There’s banging. Sanding. Talking. More talking. More banging. I think I feel a twitch coming on.

I’ll stop now. I know life is good. I just needed to get this out. I’m feeling better already – thanks!

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The GroundMOM Day Effect

01 Friday Feb 2013

Posted by Jackie in Uncategorized

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

Groundhog Day, GroundMOM Day

Do you often feel like every day is Groundhog Day? Every year, my kids look forward to Punxsutawney Phil’s forecast on Groundhog Day. He’s the famous groundhog that predicts whether we’ll have six more weeks of winter (and how soon we’ll need to start shopping the sale racks for spring trends).  I can’t help it, but every Groundhog Day, I think of the B movie starring Bill Murray and Andie McDowell where the same day is repeated over and over again for an egotistical reporter named Phil Connors. He’s stuck in a time warp, a time loop, a rut, a living H-E–double hockey sticks and can’t escape. No matter what he does, Phil wakes up to the same song, the same people, the same circumstances. Over and over again. (Stay with me, I’m getting to a point soon, I promise.)

Forget marmots or Murrays. This year, I’m dedicating Groundhog Day to fellow mothers who “get” Phil’s perpetual predicament.

Think of all the tasks that you have to repeat over and over again, no matter what you do:

The laundry – As soon as you wash, dry, fold and put away everyone’s laundry, another load (or five) is piling up, waiting for you!

The dishes – As soon as you unload the dishwasher and load it with all the dirty dishes and pans, you get to do it again. And again. And again!

Vacuuming – As soon as you vacuum all the floors, the kids, the dog, your husband, even you unknowingly track in dirt, snow and mud. So, guess what? Yeah! You get to vacuum the entire house again!

The Bills – You pay them all and feel so accomplished. And then the following month, woo—hoo, you get to pay them again!

Other tasks that have this same “Groundhog Day” effect:

Mopping

Dusting

Changing Diapers

Picking Up Dog Poop-sicles

Cleaning toilets

Mowing the lawn

Washing the car

Insert anything a mom does here!

Can I get an Amen?

For the love of Punxsutawney Phil, thankfully we have our families, friends, good wine, cheese dip and chocolate to help keep us sane through it all. 😉 Happy Groundhog Day!

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How to Spread Sanity on a Cracker Wins IndieReader Discovery Award!

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Jackie hosted a fun “wine and cheese” book signing at Books on the Square March 1!

Enjoy wine, cheese dip & a reading with Jackie from 7 p.m. to 8:30 p.m.

Books on the Square in Providence's Wayland Square

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