How did your week go? Did you get through the first day of school OK? I can’t lie – I was a little stressed out the night before. Oh, I don’t know why. Maybe because my daughter was starting the third grade and my son, my first born, was starting junior high school. Yes JUNIOR HIGH. As in Diary of a Wimpy Kid first day of school, only I was the one stressing, not my son. Although there were no middle of the night panic attacks involving Captain Crunch, I did what I usually do when I’m nerve-wracked about something. I get all excited, eat chocolate and can’t get to sleep. I think I slept about three hours (if that), (in fits) the night before. These were the thoughts going through my head:

“Will I wake up in time?” 

“Will the kids remember to wake me up if the alarm doesn’t go off?”

“Will he find his locker?”

“Will he remember his combination?”

“Will he get to home room OK?”

“Will my daughter know where her classroom is?”

“Will she know what her teacher looks like?”

“What if I forget to pack something?”

“What if we miss the bus?”

So, yes, I woke up in a panic, and drank way too much caffeine. The kids woke up, all excited too, with PLENTY of time. They got dressed. They ate their breakfast, and I packed their lunches (and yes, I remembered to place them in their backpacks). They listened and brushed their teeth on time. It was a dream. Then I hugged them goodbye. I thought I’d die. Some tears spilled out, but I tried to keep my composure for their sake. They both got off to school JUST FINE. Then I carried on with my work-from-home day, trying not to obsess.

I picked up my son from school. I see him across the parking lot and he is fine, smiling ear to ear. He starts going on and on about all the cool things he did, from lockers to lunch with all his friends. I was so excited for him, and so proud. He did it. He got through the big day without any hiccups! (My daughter had a wonderful day too without any issues.) After my son finished, I was so happy, but cried a little on the inside. All I kept thinking was, How can it be? How did this happen? I remember being in the sixth grade like it was yesterday. It just amazes me how fast they grow up. I’m so proud of them, so proud to be their mom. I have a feeling this is just the beginning. Don’t even talk to me about high school. I may be all cried out now, but I’ll be a big mess when that time comes.
PLEASE DON’T FORGET: I’m still accepting mommy story entries and dessert recipes for my next book! YOUR mommy insanity tale or dessert recipe could be featured in my next book. The deadline is August 31! Please send your entry to jackie@ventingsessions.com. Please include MOMMY INSANITY in the subject line. Thank you! And thanks to those who have already sent in some great stories & recipes – you rock!

I haven’t even had a chance to finish my tea, but I woke up with these thoughts, so you’ll have to forgive the un-caffeinated, grammatical error of my ways. But, please, someone throw me a bone: Why are Halloween decorations already on display? I haven’t even had a chance to get my end-of-summer-oh-my-goodness-my-hair-looks-like-hay roots done, and we’re already getting ready for Halloween? What happened to living in the present? Why does everything have to feel so rushed all the time? I know I’ve been totally impatient about things all my life.
“How long until I get that promotion?”
“What sex is the baby?”
“Why can’t I have an epidural now?”
“Why isn’t he potty trained yet?”
“How did the Terrible Twos suddenly fast-forward to the eff-in fours?”
Well into my 30’s I was kind of an impatient spaz. Okay, so I felt that way last week. But today, as a 40-something mom with old-phart tendencies, I’ve started to chill a little. To learn to take things as they come. To, as my kids say, “Chill-ax” a little. (At least before my kids become teenagers!)
And speaking of impatience, I find this so enlightening: When it’s Spring Break, the kids are beside themselves because they have a WHOLE week off. But the week before school starts? It’s like we need to start splashing Vitamin D juice to the masses. “We only have a week of summer left?” my daughter asked yesterday. The look on her face said it all. And she likes school! “Only a weeeeeeeeeeeek before school starts?” It’s like the Great Depression has swept through the neighborhood. Yet you can sense a euphoric cloud hover above the mothers, as we wait oh-so-patiently for the school bus to arrive. “Oh, yes, honey, school starts in a WEEK!” Only a week until momma can get back on track.
(I would like to mention that this does NOT relate to mothers who have not yet experienced the trauma of sending their little ones to kindergarten. I too was one of those blubbering mommies who bawled when the yellow school bus left, carrying my back-packed cutie.)

I’m loving the last couple weeks of summer with my kids. (And reading the last 100 or so pages of 50 Shades of Grey.) Yes, I shamelessly purchased a copy of this controversial book last week. It helps keep me sane. I bought it the other day when I was at the mall purchasing some kid-movie posters for my 11-year-old son. Who knew I could find this book where they sell mini figurines of Marge Simpson? Comic book stores sure have changed. So, I’m a sucker for mindless summer beach reading? I can’t help it!  

Speaking of mom-appropriate reading,I’m still accepting mommy story entries and dessert recipes for my next book! Remember, YOUR story of mommy insanity or recipe could be featured in my next book! The deadline is August 31! Send your entry to jackie@ventingsessions.com. Please include MOMMY INSANITY in the subject line. No entries over 1,000 words. Thank you! And thanks to those who have sent in some great stories & recipes already!

Be honest. Do your eyes hurt? Exactly how late did you stay up last night? What time do you think you went to bed the night before? I ask you this, with circles under my eyes. Granted, my kids are 8 and 11. I have not had a night feeding in 7 1/2 years. And speaking of bottles, I’ve barely had a beer since we came back from vacation. I have discovered something about myself the past couple of weeks. I am an old lady. An old phart. I have been staying up way past my oh-so-over-40-with-kids bedtime. And it’s not because I’m out partying. I get tired just watching the cast of Jersey Shore go out until 4:30 a.m. for crying out loud. I have been staying up late almost every night watching the NBC prime time coverage of the Olympics. Now, we had an adventurous summer. We white water rafted along the Arkansas River and biked down the Colorado Rockies as a family.  We spent a week at the Vineyard too. But all I want to do lately, after I put the kids to bed, is watch who wins what on NBC. I don’t want to break for popcorn or the girls’ room. I want to watch Team USA make their dreams come true. I want to hear who sacrificed what to get to the Games. (And then shamelessly spot a celebrity in the crowd). I even bought myself an adorable Alex and Ani Olympic Games bracelet recently to show my team spirit. For I am and always will be an Olympics addict. Now, I wake up the next morning a little groggy, dying for my Green tea fix. I even went on a Diet Pepsi binge in an attempt to erase my self-induced insomnia marathon. I may not be an athlete. (I’ve done occasional 5Ks and triathlons and love Pilates.) But there’s nothing quite like a comfy bed, some extra pillows and the Olympics on the tube. I will gladly endure sleep deprivation a little longer until the Games are over. Then I’ll go back to being my normal, get-up-and-go-mommy-who-tries-to-do-too-much and get to bed on time self. Go Team USA!

We’ve been traveling a lot this summer as a family. And I must say, all kidding aside, we’ve been having a blast. I’m so proud of my kids for withstanding long car rides, curly Colorado roads, oxygen-depleting altitudes, and oh-so-off-the-routine sleep and snack schedules. My body is going to cry when I get back to Pilates! I’m still on CO time and boy was I starving for lunch at 3 p.m. yesterday. Although we all felt grateful we had a chance to spend time with cousins in the mountains, we were all secretly excited to get back home. I came back to loads of work, an inch of non-highlighted roots, 10 pounds of water weight, a dog barking for our attention, and toes that so needed a pedicure yesterday. Not to mention a lonely looking blog. Thanks to my dear friends at Merely Mothers, I was able to write a guest blog for them that I could re-post for you here! Yay! Thanks, Merely Mothers – you gals are the bomb! Guest Post