Did you “know” you were having a boy or a girl?

Some women just KNOW.

I have to admit, I KNEW. I did. Thirteen years ago, when I was pregnant with my first child, I KNEW I was having a boy. I’m totally serious! I was about nine weeks along when I had a dream that my husband was holding a blond, blue-eyed boy. I woke up, and KNEW! And when we found out the sex of the baby several weeks later, he was shocked.  But I wasn’t! I already had tiny blue baby shoes and hats on my mind!

Three years later, in 2003, I dreamed that I was having a girl. And guess what? I was right on again!

Crazy? Pregnancy hormones gone nutty? Or maybe it was mother’s intuition.

Some moms, like my friend Jane, just KNOW! (She just found out the sex of her baby a few days ago and she was totally right! A boy! Congratulations!) 

I know we all have more important things to worry about than ponder who wore what dress to the Emmy’s. But I can’t lie and say I haven’t scoured the pages of People and US Weekly at the check-out line to find out who made the “Best” and “Worst” Dressed lists. A couple years ago, I unintentionally ripped a few pages trying to see what Jennifer Garner wore.  Not a proud moment as my daughter was helping me put the groceries on the conveyor belt.

(I once DVR’d the Oscar’s JUST to watch Reese Witherspoon’s acceptance speech and as soon as they announced “And the Oscar for Best Actress goes to…” it cut off the recording. I was so frustrated, I haven’t watched an entire awards show since.)

So, yes, I’ve had my fanatical moments.

But thanks to social media, I don’t have to watch the shows from beginning to end anymore. I didn’t even have to wait to see who wore what this year. Those posts about Heidi Klum’s dress were rolling in so fast , I didn’t even have to LOOK for them. In my opinion, she’s so gorgeous, the woman could wear a paper bag and make it look fabulous.

I have to admit, aside from wishing I had even half of their shoes, I feel sorry for some of these actresses. When you really think about it, if you were going to a glamorous event and you had to choose a dress that’s either already in your closet or given to you by a creative designer friend, what would you wear?

What would you wear?

Probably something black, right?

And maybe play it up with a necklace that’s NOT made out of real diamonds?

And pair it with Spanx and peep toes?

Am I right?

I have two or three dresses that I wear to events all the time. I am constantly recycling them. And I’ve owned them for probably five years. One highlights my arm dangle and the others HAVE to be worn with Spanx or else I look like a character from Mama’s Family. I’m incredibly thankful that I’ve never been invited to a Hollywood event or else I’d be frantically choosing something with not enough color or bling. (My girlfriend graciously let me borrow her dress when I went to the Give and Glam in Newport this summer. I loved it and the price was great! And my fellow author friends Elyse Major (middle) and Jennifer Leal (left) looked lovely in their ensembles!;))

I borrowed this dress (far right) from a dear friend when I joined my friends and fellow authors at the Give & Glam event in June!

But let’s take a moment and put ourselves in these actresses’ shoes. (Oh, how heavenly. I take size 9 medium, thank you.)

They picked out a fancy dress.

They put on their Spanx.

They had their hair done.

They loaded up on eye shadow.

They grabbed a cute clutch.

And they walked out the door feeling confident and pretty.

And then they are bombarded with cameras. In a flash, other people decide that their dress, their hair, their entire ensemble is either hideous or high-fashion.

One moment they are in, they next, they are out.

It’s awful if you really think about it.

I’m just so glad there are no judges waiting for me on the soccer field, at PTO meetings, at the grocery store, or cross country meets.

Wait – there are.

There are judgy moms everywhere.

All I’m saying is, before you pass judgment on these actresses, or anyone else, take a look in the mirror.

As soon as it’s boots’ time, you can count on me to wear them as part of my daily winter mommy uniform!

Remember mom jeans?

The light-wash denim jeans your mom wore when you were a kid?

Tapered at the leg, puffy, high-waisted and faded?

Like the jeans parodied on Saturday Night Live: http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/mom-jeans/n11727/

Well, if you’ve been jeans’ shopping lately, you may be in for a rude awakening, my friends. When you see what’s on trend for high-fashion jeans these days, you’ll notice there’s not a lot to choose from (for moms). The trend ranges from “super skinny” to “baggy boyfriend” jeans.

Super Skinny Jeans – Who can fit into these anyway??

Baggy Boyfriend Jeans are back – OH THE HORROR!

Hmmm. Those boot-cut style jeans from 2008 are looking pretty awesome, aren’t they?

Boot-cut jeans – my favorite!

I have to say, my boot-cut style jeans may not necessarily be in the “ON TREND” section of any fashion magazine right now, but they work for me.

They fit great.

They hide my flaws.

And they’re comfortable.

For the love of…. I think I may be turning into my mother.

Unfortunately, because I’m relying on the boot cut style so much when it comes to denim, it makes me cringe at how soon they too will be parodied on SNL as the next generation of…dare I say it….MOM JEANS!

Wait, could my jeans already BE considered mom jeans?

When I walk by a pack of tweens, do they snicker at my jeans? (OR just me?)

Am I turning into one of THOSE MOMS?

Oh no!!!!!!!!!!!

You know you’re heading into MOM JEANS’ TERRITORY when…

1. You try on a pair of skinny jeans, and your body physically rejects them.
2. Even if you don’t have thunder thighs or a muffin top, squeeze on a pair of skinny jeans and wa-laa, you get them instantly!
3. Consuming more than a carrot stick while wearing skinny jeans could be hazardous to your health. (My belly once bloated up like a balloon after having a carton of Greek yogurt and I could hardly breathe.)
4. Skinny jeans and baggy boyfriend jeans are looks that can only be carried off by two types of people: High fashion models and teens that weigh 80 pounds. (There could be some overlap here.)
5. When you try on a pair of (stretchy) skinny jeans that miraculously fit in the leg, the crotch never fits, making you look …like a stripper. Oh, I said it.
6. You begin to understand WHY your mom wore elastic waist jeans back in the day. OK, so I’m 35 years away from being an elastic waist Golden Girl, but it sure would feel good to not have to suck it in and zip up every day.
7. You’re hesitant to embrace the baggy “boyfriend jeans” trend (worn by everyone in Hollywood) because they take any figure flaw since having children and manage to make it look 10 times worse.
8. You haven’t tapered and rolled the leg of your jeans since graduating from high school.
9. You haven’t worn overalls since the 1980’s and there is NO way you’re saying yes to this trend unless you start getting paid to work on a ranch with Ms. Hilton.
10. Who needs jeans anyway? Forget jeans. You’re perfectly fine wearing cute riding pants that allow you to move around, eat and BREATHE!

Mommy Brain is one thing. But Mommy Brain on blond highlights? Oh yes, these are the random “senior/mommy moments” that happen to me after I get a little blonder. Meaning, after my hair stylist Patrick works his magic and rids me of my dark blond roots.  The week or so after you get your hair highlighted, something happens. Mommy brain is one thing, but mommy brain on recently highlighted hair is another.

It could just be the fact that both of my kids recently had the stomach bug while my husband was away, but I have a feeling whether you’re a brunette who covers your grays or a blond who highlights a shade or two lighter, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Tack on a sleepless night, crazed hormones, back to school taxi-ing, work deadlines and four loads of laundry, and this list can stretch on as long as a pair of tights that snag in the wash from your daughter’s “lost” metal hair clip.

My friend Jane from momgenerations.com brought a funny “moment” to my attention recently, which had me in stitches and inspired me to write this post. (Hugs, Jane!)

You know you’re suffering from Blond Mommy Brain when:

• You start chit-chatting with an acquaintance at the grocery store and keep calling her “Kim” and realize when you get back in your car….the woman’s name is actually NOT Kim.
• You walk downstairs and forget what you came down for, so you walk back up and start doing something else.
• Then in the middle of doing the other task, you finally remember why you went downstairs in the first place, but then forget what you were doing after that because the phone rings.
• You feed your dog breakfast, twice, by mistake.
• You fill the dishwasher and forget to press the START button.
• You walk out of a store and forget where you parked your car.
• You frantically call your cell phone and discover it buried at the bottom of your handbag.
• You leave your Starbucks drink somewhere in the house, but you can’t remember WHERE.
• You search high and low for your sunglasses, and then catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and realize you’ve been using them as a headband all day.

What are some of your favorite “mommy brain” moments?

If you have a child with sensory needs, please put Carolyn Dalgliesh’s new book, “The Sensory Child Gets Organized” on your list of must-reads. Carolyn is the parent of a sensory child and a professional organizer.

I was honored to review her new book for Ask Mom OnlineRI.com. Check out the article here: https://onlineri.com/articles/ask_mom This Rhode Island mom was inspired to write this book to help make everyday life a lot easier on everyone. Check it out today!

The Sensory Child Gets Organized is available at book stores now!

I have an embarrassing habit. It’s very PG, so get your mind out of the gutter.

When I have time to myself in the morning, I watch a popular teen-TV series on Netflix. (OK, so a couple.) I don’t just sit around, watching random shows all day. I just work-out to them before my kids wake up. We don’t have a treadmill or a fancy Elliptical machine. Just my running shoes, some free weights and Netflix. Very 1980’s of me, I know. But it’s how I sweat when I don’t have time to hit the pavement or a Pilates class. I do some Jane Fonda-style moves and burn calories before anyone wakes up. (Running in place, leg lifts, planks, etc.) Yes, I may sound like an octogenarian in a leotard, but it helps me stay in shape. Sometimes, I have only 25 minutes to spare, but 25 minutes of “feeling the burn” is better than nothing, right?

After so many mini-workout sessions to the teen show……(and here’s where I whisper-yell like that woman in St. Elmo’s Fire)…..Gossip Girl… I’ve figured out that I have some questions that other fellow GG fans can understand.

Please note that I realize how pathetic I am for watching this show. I get that I’m in my 40s. But the story line is so addicting, it helps me forget that I’m burning calories. And so do the shoes and handbags! Hey, we all have shameless habits. I don’t smoke or do drugs. I work out to Gossip Girl. Sue me.

Questions that I find myself pondering as I’m running to Gossip Girl:

1)      Someone please tell me, when do Blair Waldorf and Serena van der Woodsen have time to work out? B probably weighs 95 pounds in the rain.

2)      I never see them getting out of the shower or blow drying their own hair. Do you?

3)      When do they have time to style their hair and make it look professionally blown out?

4)      Does private school in Manhattan start at 10 a.m.? How else can they be dressed from head to toe in Versace (with a matching headband) and manage to beat morning traffic?

5)      How is it that the same day someone decides to throw a party, everyone miraculously shows up at 7 p.m.? (On a school night!) It takes me weeks, sometimes months to plan something with my girlfriends!

6)      Besides Carrie Bradshaw, who has that many cocktails dresses? With coordinating designer shoes? (That aren’t straight from the sale rack? Oh, the horror!) I would probably repeat the same dress 10 times in one year, (mixing up the shoes and jewelry, of course)…and this alone would land me smack on the cover of Gossip Girl!

7)      Besides Don Draper and his Mad Men cohorts, who really drinks scotch in the middle of the day? Or two glasses of cognac and can still stand after a “last-minute” white party on Blair’s terrace?

8)      How does Lily Bass have the strength to wear diamond dangling earrings when all she consumes are crumbs of Rufus’s waffles, an occasional spoonful of yogurt or three glasses of champagne?

9)      When exactly did Serena…develop? Age 12? Honey, I’m still waiting for mine to come in!

10)   How can Chuck Bass run his father’s multi-billion dollar empire? Didn’t he just graduate from high school?

11)   How can a college student go from interning for ONE day to being promoted at a top fashion magazine? Especially after she got fired? Excuse me, but I don’t recall her even taking a writing test!

12)   When will Lily stop looking so put-together? She wakes up looking like she’s ready for the opera. Never do I see her in a t-shirt and yoga pants.

(Let alone Wellies and comfy leggings, which just so happens to be what I’m wearing right now as I sit in a café venting all of this out on my laptop.)

You know you “get” me, moms…XOXO – Jackie