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Venting Sessions

~ where moms can let it out

Venting Sessions

Category Archives: General Mommentary

This category contains posts with another kind of food….food for thought.

Walshed Out?

29 Monday Aug 2016

Posted by Jackie in General Mommentary, Uncategorized

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

back to school, mommying, moms, motherhood, Mrs. Walsh, New England summer, summer mommy martyr

This summer, something happened.

I turned into the mom from 90210. Yes, I became, without trying or wanting to, Cindy Eff-ing Walsh.

Old school 90210, guys. You know the mom who sported a total mom-hair-do, never had a life because she was too busy swooping into random scenes, dropping off cookies or driving Brenda and Brandon to the Peach Pit? Hosting after-school parties and encouraging her kids and their friends to make good choices that circle back to an unrealistic but addicting TV plot?

That’s me.

awhhoh

OK, this is not really me, but I’ve been acting a lot like her this summer. Image from https://90sflashback.files.wordpress.com

 

 

 

 

 

OK, I get it. We may not live in Beverly Hills. We may not have slow-but-sad-90’s-electric-guitar-melodies playing in the background. And God help me, I’m grateful I’m not raising Shannen Daugherty in mom jeans. (Brandon, now he’s a sweetheart, Brenda, she was a handful.) Anyhoo. My point, if I may try to land this ever-loving plane, is that I’ve become the new Mrs. Walsh. Replete with an iPhone, semi-updated but very end-of-summer-dead-endy-hair-do, two active but TV-ready Golden Retrievers and two great kids who at times may not think they need me and their dad anymore, but definitely had a fun summer because we provided free transportation, food and fun just about every day. (I’m not an Uber driver, but there were times I felt like one.)

Basically, this summer, I turned into something I often make fun of in spite of myself. I became a mommy martyr. I did everything for everybody else and put myself second, third, and sometimes, last. As a result, I stopped writing and put a “pin” in a lot of professional and personal projects. I let my ass go (grow). And I got a little cranky from time to time.

Don’t get me wrong, I love being a mom. But I have to say, I also like it when I’m not over-mommying.

And I definitely over-mommed and Mrs. Walshed my way through the break.

Oh, I did some stuff without my kids. Like going grocery shopping (and scrubbing grout). OK, I jogged (occasionally). And even went out with dear friends a couple times. But aside from those rare moments, I’m secretly thankful the summer break is over. I will miss the sunshine, swimming and s’mores fo-sho, but not the times I Mrs. Walshed my way through it.

I often wonder if my mom had this same problem. But then I realize back then, moms didn’t even know where we were half the time. We would wave goodbye after shoving down two bowls of Cheerios (with five spoonfuls of sugar) and not come home until the street lights came on. We could have joined a gang (at the mall) or tried to dye our hair (like Cyndi Lauper or Cindy Crawford), but we rode home safely on our Ten Speeds, just in time for The Muppets and Manwich Night.

I tried to capture a back to school photo (at 7 a.m.) today, and my kids didn’t really care. (Sniff, sniff.) Instead, my son, who is a sophomore in high school and my daughter (7th grader, like whatevs) decided to be silly by not smiling when I snapped the photo. My daughter playfully turned her back to the camera and my son made a faux-sad face.

Why would I expect anything different? They asked me to please not take a picture. “It’s too early, mom.” “We’re getting too old for this, mom.” But I did it anyway. Why? Because I’m Mrs. Eff-ing Walsh.

My kids are funny. They’re great kids. And I love them dearly. I’m grateful to be their mom. But….I’M ALSO VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY EXCITED THAT THEY ARE GOING BACK TO SCHOOL, BACK TO A ROUTINE, SO I CAN TOO! And so I can stop Walshing around and go back to being Jackie again. 😉

 

 

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Ready? OK! Confessions of a Texas transplant-turned-Rhode Island cheerleader

27 Saturday Sep 2014

Posted by Jackie in General Mommentary

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

cheerleading, Rhode Island cheerleading, SNL perfect cheer

I have a confession to make. Although I was born and raised in Texas, I didn’t try out for cheerleading.

Of course, I always wanted to be a Derek Doll. 

But I never tried out.

Why, you ask?

Let’s see: I guess I was sort of cute when I was little, but then the hormones kicked in and I grew into a pale and gawky tween. Combine this with the fact that I was only allowed to buy things off the sales rack and I was not exactly “cheerleading” material. I was a polite kid with a lot of friends. I was on the dance team, the Sharkettes (Pop Warner) and took gymnastics, ballet and jazz. But I didn’t come out of the womb doing mid-air splits.

So I never bothered to try out for cheerleading.

I waited until I moved to Rhode Island my junior year of high school. I remember thinking, “What the heck do I have to lose?” as I rolled my Forenza jeans into my cowboy boots and coated my permed bangs with another layer of Aqua Net.

During tryouts, I did a cheer. A few kicks. Then another yell or two with moves like… Jackie. I smiled. Then my nerves got the best of me. After a few high kicks, I said something that would change my life forever.

I turned and announced to one of the judges, “I’m so nervous, I think I might pee in my pants.”

(In my defense, it was true.)

The next second was excruciating.

I remember hearing nothing in the auditorium but the squeak of my tennis shoes. It was like something out of a John Hughes movie.

Then I heard a few giggles. Followed by lots of laughing. Even a few snorts.

All the other girls were laughing. They were apparently laughing WITH ME. (OR so I hoped.). For a second, I felt like Molly Ringwald in Pretty in Pink.

I guess the judge appreciated my honest style because I made it.

You read that right – I made cheerleading!

When I found out I made the squad, it was as if the painful zit on my chin had finally popped, dried and flaked off. I felt free and clear. The stress that came with moving to a small town hundreds of miles away from everything I had known was lifted.

It was a dream come true. In my 16-year-old mind, I felt like I was Susan Lucci. (The up-teenth time she landed an Emmy nomination. Gooooo, Erica!)

But after a few weeks, I realized that in a small New England town, cheerleading was a lot different than it is in Texas. People don’t make as much of a big deal about it. I discovered a lot of things about cheerleading that I didn’t know before.

A few ways cheerleading is different in Rhode Island:

  • In East Greenwich, Rhode Island, there was no mandatory rule that cheerleaders permeate their locks with AquaNet.
  • The outfits don’t have to sparkle or look anything like NFL cheerleader outfits.
  • You HAVE to wear thermals or sweats under your cheerleading outfit in Rhode Island to keep from freezing your buns off.
  • There are no mothers plotting the murder of other moms so their daughters can get on the squad.
  • You don’t have to look like a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader to make the team.
  • Hair is much flatter in RI than in Texas, where they don’t condone “naked hair”. In Texas, “naked hair” is defined as hair that has not been permed, rolled, processed or curled and sprayed with enough hairspray to start a bonfire.
  • High school football stadiums in Rhode Island are like miniature Zoolander stadiums compared to the crowds that fill Texas Friday Night Lights’ games. The stadium we had in East Greenwich was a quarter of the size of the old stadium where I used to hang out with friends on fun Texas Friday nights.

Extra strength AquaNet or no AquaNet, I was still proud to be a cheerleader.

I spent some of the most memorable years of my life cheering, choreographing, and dancing with an awesome group of girls.

To this day, there are times when I will hear a Milli Vanilli song, lip synch and break into cheer, loud and clear for my kids to hear. The “beat” comes to me like the SNL Spartans squad led by Will Ferrell, as he and his female counterpart rooted on water polo matches with the “Perfect Cheer”. I can’t hold back. My hips start pumping. My head moves from side to side. Then I stop, look down, both arms to my side. “Ready? OK!” I yell out to my dog, who sits there, squinting back. (In shame.)

“Roll call boogie, check, check. Roll call boogie, check, check. So check. Us. Out.” I yell out to myself in the kitchen (the dog has walked away). “My name is Jackie, YEAH. I have a big grin. YEAH. I’ll tell you one thing, YEAH. This team is gonna win!”

Before I’m done dancing and pretending to remember the cheer, I realize my 10-year-old daughter is not only ignoring me, she is running from me, screaming, “Mom, please stop! My eyes are burning!”

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43 Candles: On Samantha Baker, Farmer Ted and truths on turning 40-something

31 Monday Mar 2014

Posted by Jackie in General Mommentary, Mommy Musings

≈ 15 Comments

Tags

16 Candles, 43, heart health at 43, Jake Ryan, jogging, motherhood, Mrs. Roper, running, Samantha Baker

You’ve probably seen it circulating on Facebook already. A friend recently sent me the time-wasting-but-I-so-have-to-see-what-this-is survey, “Which John Hughes classic are you?”. Like any curious 40-something raised on John Hughes (R.I.P.) classics, I knew I HAD to open the link and take the survey. I got 16 Candles, one of my favorite movies. I remember seeing Samantha Baker hash it out with her big sister (and Farmer Ted played by the always hilarious Anthony Michael Hall) on the big screen when I was 13. Wow, to think I was as old as my son is now when I celebrated Molly Ringwald’s entire wardrobe and began reciting “Dong, where is my automobile?” “Jake, he’s my boy,” and “I can’t believe my parents forgot my &*^^ birthday,” on a daily basis. Scenes from John Hughes’ classics, from The Breakfast Club to Planes, Trains and Automobiles, became permanently locked in my brain, helping me become the person I am now. (Minus the laugh lines and back fat.)

As I face my 43rd birthday in April, I wish I could wipe the day from the calendar and just carry on as Samantha Baker did on that infamous day. I’m glad I’m alive and I’m thankful for my family and friends and all, but 43? It’s not exactly the most thrilling number. To quote Jake Ryan’s friend, “It’s…void.”

Things to keep in mind when you face 43:

• Teenagers will be calling you “Ma’am” until you’re 93.
• If your family forgets your birthday (like Samantha Baker’s), but remembers to pack carrot sticks, it’ll be a good thing.
• You may have reached total happiness and self-acceptance by age 43, but you will forever be immune to the fact that you’re viewed as an old dorky person in the eyes of every middle schooler in America.
•

With each passing year, you’ll look more and more like Elaine from Seinfeld when you dance in front of your kids

.
• In your mind, you’re still a teenager, which means you’ll mentally be 40-something when you’re in your 80s.
• You are as old as your parents were when you were a tween.
• Wearing floral pants is a big no-no at 43 because no matter how cute they look on the mannequin, you know the minute you try them on, you’ll end up looking like Mrs. Roper.
• Your 40th birthday is just as memorable as your 21st birthday, but your 40th is probably the last birthday you will care to celebrate by partying after midnight.
• Going to bed by 10:30 p.m. is no longer a social embarrassment but a celebrated accomplishment.
• They don’t make candles, balloons or cards with the number 43.
• During your annual doctor’s visit, remember to remove all jewelry, shoes and socks before stepping on the scale. Then blame the **&&%$# glass of water you drank before the appointment on the shocking number.
• When you turn 43, your metabolism will slow to a screeching halt unless you exercise every day.
• After skipping a day or two of exercise, you’ll feel like your mind and body are turning to mush.
• Just Googling “heart health at 43” is enough to scare you back into jogging.
• For every sprinkle of salt you add to your plate, you can count on an inch of bloat that lasts for days.

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Have You Ever Been Ghosted?

25 Friday Oct 2013

Posted by Jackie in General Mommentary

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

fun family Halloween tradition, Halloween, Halloween tradition, mother, neighborhood fun, neighborhood ghosting

Have you ever been GHOSTED?

I’m not talking about watching Friday the 13th or Demi Moore in GHOST. My definition of “being ghosted”: (v) When someone rings your doorbell anonymously (think G-rated “ding-dong-ditch”) a few days before Halloween and leaves a small bag of goodies and a ghostly poem at your door.

A paper ghost on a front door means people are getting ghosted. AND YOU MAY BE NEXT!

We started this Halloween-time tradition 11 years ago when we first moved to the neighborhood. My sister-in-law and her family ghosted us one night (they got us so good, I nearly wet my pregnancy pants) and we haven’t stopped since. It’s something my kids look forward to every October. We make a night of it, running around with flashlights, goodie bags, ringing doorbells and hiding. We hide behind our neighbors’ trees and there’s always tons of giggling.

If you haven’t been “ghosted” yet, plan to ghost someone this weekend! It’s easy, inexpensive and so much fun for the whole family. But hurry, because you HAVE to do it before Halloween!

How to start a GHOSTING tradition in your neighborhood:

1. Make two copies of this “Ghostly” poem. Link: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 You’ve Been Ghosted!

During the night, we left you a treat.

This Halloween tradition is fun, and one we hope you’ll repeat…..

Feel free to download the poem at the orange link above! Or create your own!

You’ve Been Ghosted!

2. Gather some inexpensive goodies and treats – from play dough and pencils to crayons and candy. Target, CVS or the Dollar Store has great cheap stuff in bulk for fun goodie bags. Plastic army guys and spider rings are always a favorite for us.

3. Fill two ghostly goodie bags with treats and copies of the poem and ghost picture and hide them somewhere safe.

4. Choose at least two neighbors to “Ghost” that do NOT have a ghost taped to their door. (Important: This means they have already been ghosted!)

5. Wait until it’s dark outside and walk through your neighborhood. Be careful of cars and USE A FLASHLIGHT, please. “Whatevs. mom.” Leave the ghostly goodie bag on your neighbor’s doorstep. (Double check that the poem and ghost picture are safely tucked inside.)

6. Then get ready to hide! Make a run for it (safely please) so no one sees you!

7. Rinse and repeat for the next neighbor.

To lots of giggles, good ghostings and a Happy Halloween! – XO – Jackie

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40 Going on 14

09 Wednesday May 2012

Posted by Jackie in General Mommentary

≈ 5 Comments

My husband was away on business recently. Although my kids and I missed him, we had our routine down pretty good every day. After all the carpooling and rushing around, I was relieved to eat my dinner over the sink and stay up late watching chick flicks after the kids went to bed. I shamelessly watched a movie one night starring Miley Cyrus that made me cry so hard, I had to blow my nose and wash my face twice. As if this wasn’t embarrassing enough, I noticed that at the bottom of the movie credits, Netflix recommended movies and shows based on what I had recently watched. Every TV show and movie listed was appropriate for a 14 year old girl. I was mortified. Need I say more?

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My Nu Best Friend

27 Monday Feb 2012

Posted by Jackie in General Mommentary, Little Links

≈ 12 Comments

It’s not every day that you come in contact with something that means so much to you (and comes in adorable, convenient packaging). Not since I discovered Little Debbie’s® Swiss Roll have I felt such a confectionary connection. Meet my new best friend, Nutella & Go. This little snack can literally melt away kid-rearing stress without adding layers to my behind. (Due to the small size of the package, not necessarily my lack of self-discipline.) God bless America.

I pack these Nutella singles with mini-bread sticks in my kids’ lunches. (Boy, how I wish I had this snack when I was in elementary school.)

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Cry it out

17 Friday Feb 2012

Posted by Jackie in General Mommentary

≈ 7 Comments

I think I’ve blocked out a lot of things over the years. Some intentionally, others no so intentionally, as a friend and mother of five so eloquently described, “I lost my mind once, then regained it again.” When my son was an infant, it was not fun trying to get him to fall asleep in his crib situated about three feet from our bed. Did I mention that we lived in a one-bedroom apartment at the time? He’d fall asleep in the infant carrier, so we’d lift him up ever so gently, and he would wake up and scream. We would position him perfectly on his side in the crib with those pediatrician-recommended pads. We’d rub his back, position the binky just so and he would drift off for about 30 seconds. Then he’d start to cry. Then cry some more. Then the wailing would begin. He was addicted to sleeping in his infant carrier. (And addicted to his binky, which is an entirely different story.) Had he kept up the carrier craze, it would have been not so pretty for many reasons. Namely, our pediatrician at the time said he needed to wear a helmet to prevent baby Calvin from having a flat head. Enough was enough. There was no reason for this nonsense. We were intelligent enough human beings. I gave birth after an ungodly amount of hours and my husband didn’t even pass out. Together, we could figure this out. We once tried putting him in bed with us, then carrying him to the crib, which kept him up for another hour or two. After several more nights of this, we tried something another couple had suggested, something I had read about but was afraid to try on my own. We let him cry it out for three nights in a row. Three more nights of agony worked.  I’ve tried blocking out the part where I teach you why it worked. But my brain is a little fried. Bottom line: Baby Cal got it. He slept in his crib and did not need a helmet. Mommy mission accomplished, at least for a couple months until teething began.

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7 going on 17

15 Wednesday Feb 2012

Posted by Jackie in General Mommentary

≈ 5 Comments

I went to brunch with a few girlfriends the other day and after some small talk, we all started venting about our kids. It’s an inevitable part of lunching with the girls. And it feels so good to let it out. I had just spent all morning going back and forth with my daughter, trying to get her to school on time. She is actually an easy-going child, but she is starting to show signs of what I hope I don’t see a few years down the road. She used to get ready in five or 10 minutes flat. She used to spend most of the morning chatting with me while I made breakfast, fixed lunches, organized backpacks, fed the dog, and made sure I didn’t leave the house in PJ bottoms. This particular morning, my daughter was acting like a 17 year old and this mom had had it. Did I mention she’s 7 years old? She probably took a good 30 minutes to get ready, yelling from upstairs, “I’m coming mom….Guaa.” This is the point where I become my mother, “Don’t take that tone with me, young lady.” She walks downstairs, with perfectly brushed hair, wearing striped leggings and a cowl-neck top. “Mom, I was just trying to brush my hair and put on my clothes.”

My inner mom is wondering, “That alone should only take 7 minutes, tops. She doesn’t even take a morning shower or blow-dry her hair.”

I vented this during brunch to my friend who has two grown daughters and a 7-year-old girl. She looked at me, straight-faced, then smiled and said, “Good luck, my friend, good luck with that.”

No. I’m not dealing with a 7-year-old inner teen. Please no. This mom wishes to stay in denial a little longer, thank you very much.

In appreciation of the fact that my daughter is not yet a teen, check out this link to the movie 13 Going on 30 starring celebrity mom, Jennifer Garner, yet another actress I have never met and probably never will, but I adore anyway.

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Image

No gag-me-with-a-spoon Valentine’s Day

14 Tuesday Feb 2012

Valentine’s Day may mean going out for a romantic dinner for some couples or sending two dozen red roses for others. There’s nothing wrong with celebrating the day in a romantic way. But at our house, we take Valentine’s Day a little less serious. (I have to admit I give a heart-shaped box of chocolates to my dad every Valentine’s Day because it’s also his birthday. Happy birthday, Dad!) And we’re all about giving fun red trinkets and cards to our kids. But my husband and I have been married for 16 years. We started dating in high school. We both work from home. We are literally one day apart. (Yes, I’m older by one day.) So to us, Valentine’s Day is not about being all serious and gag-me-with-a-spoon romantic. Early in our relationship, we exchanged serious gifts. But as time went on, we decided to mix it up a little by using the day as an excuse to exchange gag gifts. My favorite Valentine’s Day was the year my husband gave me a blue Snuggie. It came with three, yes three, free reading lamps.  Score! He ordered it from an As Seen on TV Infomercial! Another year, he gave me a really bad 1980’s movie from the $5 bin along with wilted off-orange roses that probably came from 7 Eleven. Sometimes, we wait until the night before the 14th to see what might surprise us in the sale bin. You never know what you’re going to get! We exchange thoughtful gifts other times of the year. We buy Starbucks for each other at least 4 days a week. He’s always buying me gossip magazines and jelly beans. He has a huge heart. But we just don’t need a pseudo holiday to remind us how much we care. For what it’s worth – Happy Valentine’s Day!
My favorite Snuggie.  My latest addition:

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Posted by Jackie | Filed under General Mommentary

≈ 7 Comments

The Third

17 Tuesday Jan 2012

Posted by Jackie in General Mommentary

≈ 4 Comments

I have two kids. Through the years, my friends with one child often ask, “How do you do it?” To be honest, I don’t know. I guess I just do what needs to be done. So, I often ask friends who have three or more kids the same question.

I was at my friend’s house the other night (I’ll call her Cara) for our book club. All of the women in our book club have two kids, except Cara. She was hosting and her third child, a 7-year-old boy (I will call him Sean) often puts her over the edge. But we all secretly enjoy seeing how Cara reacts to his oh-so-7-year-old-boyishness.

Jackie Tangent: Sean is the cutest thing, like a mini Enrique Iglesias. He has dance moves like Mick Jagger and the sweetest boy voice. By the way, the only reason I know this pop singer is because my kids beg me to listen to him on the radio. Now I can’t get the song, “I Like It” out of my head. Here’s a taste.

So anyway, smack in the middle of our book club, Sean runs into the living room, asking Cara in a continuous stream of 7-year-old consciousness, “Hi, guys!!” “Mommy, whatcha doin? Hi mom.” “What’s that?” Grabbing crackers and cheese from the coffee table, “Mmmmmmm those are good, can I have more?” The look on Cara’s face was priceless following every comment. “OK, Sean,” she says. “Ok, Sean, thank you.” We couldn’t get enough of him, but she had had enough. She rushed through his questions, knowing it was not long before bedtime and he was trying to get out of being where he was supposed to be, which was not in the living room enjoying wine and cheese. “You need to go to back downstairs with your brother and sister. I love you. Good night. OK, Sean. Goodbye now.”

Cara says Sean follows her everywhere and wakes her up at 6 a.m. every day. We were all giggling about her after-Sean-was-born tales, especially the one where she had to hide in the bathroom, pretending to take a shower so she could get a moment of peace. We have all been through the ringer with our own, but most of us sitting there did not have a third. Cara, like all mothers, deserves sacred mommy “alone” time. By the way, I’m happy with two. We are done. But if, by some miracle, we have a third, I will welcome the idea with open arms. After I pass out and eat an entire bag of chocolate truffles, I will welcome it with open arms.

Do you ever get a moment of mommy time?

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Daycare duality

16 Monday Jan 2012

Posted by Jackie in General Mommentary

≈ 2 Comments

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Friday Night Frights

12 Thursday Jan 2012

Posted by Jackie in General Mommentary

≈ Leave a comment

So I brought my 10-year-old son to a high school football game the other night. Jackie Tangent/sidebar: My son is becoming a tween, or in between elementary and teen years. (This is the Urban Dictionary definition of Tween: An age set overlapping preteens, ‘tween 8 and 14. A tween desperately wants to be a teen, but isn’t about to stop being a kid.) My husband was at home with our daughter, so it was just the two of us. The stadium was swarming with high school kids, parents and a few hundred tweens. I felt at first like it was the first day of school. I hadn’t seen that many Uugs paired with sweatshirts and jeans in one place. I realized I had forgotten to wear lip gloss and suddenly felt a blemish forming on my nose. I sat down next to some parents I knew from my son’s football team and although I tried desperately to focus on the game, it was all I could do to not have a panic attack at the sheer essence of teenager-mania that surrounded me. I know it’s coming. It may be five years away, but it’s coming. And I can’t help but enjoy this blissful state of denial a little longer. My mother-in-law tells me the teenage years are the worst. She had to deal with the hippy days and to this day blames the Beatles for the troubles kids got in back then. I don’t know what’s worse – yesterday’s hippies or today’s technology. I felt a sense of relief when my son walked up to me, without a cell phone, asking me if he could please have a hot chocolate. He called me mom in front of his friend. In public. And he wanted a hot chocolate. With whipped cream. I still have him for a little while longer.

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Facing Facebook

11 Wednesday Jan 2012

Posted by Jackie in General Mommentary

≈ 3 Comments

OK, so I checked Facebook twice since writing this sentence. (Let me explain something to my fellow Facebook hater friends: I originally opened a Facebook account because I knew it would give me a chance to stay in touch with old girlfriends. I moved a few times in my life, so I have friends across the country. Now I find the social media tool as a fun way to distract me from things I’m procrastinating about.) Because I work from home, I get to be my own boss. This can be a good thing and a bad thing. I’m actually a pretty self-motivated person, but I can also over-eat myself into a coma, put off work until 3 a.m., procrastinate about projects rather than tackle them right away and aggravate my husband with my annoying habits because he also works from home.  I’m either off Facebook for two months straight or I find myself checking it three times a day. Lately, I think I need to go on a Facebook diet. If you have any advice, please share.

 

 

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Monster Headache

09 Monday Jan 2012

Posted by Jackie in General Mommentary

≈ 2 Comments

Have you ever had a migraine? The kind of headache that’s so gnarly, it feels like something Sigourney Weaver tried to catch in the movie Alien hatched on one side of your head and escaped through your forehead? I never used to get bad headaches, even when I was pregnant, but since I turned 40, I feel one emerging at least twice a month. And ironically, it’s not so long after I have an amazingly healthy meal. Go figure. Although I’m not hanging over the toilet, I do feel like cow dung. I woke up with my head throbbing the other day. I tried hiding it from my kids and husband, pretending everything was hunky dory while I fixed breakfast and got everyone out the door. I tried working, but ended up moaning over my keyboard, holding my head in my hands. Then I remembered something a friend told me. “The best way to get rid of a migraine is to drink caffeine or eat something sugary.” Hello, have you met me? I’m all over that advice. I shoved my face with chocolate covered raisins. Then a piece of fruit. Then chocolate chips with the chocolate covered raisins. Then a cup of green tea. Within an hour, I was working, writing, carpooling, running errands, walking with my dog and kids and making dinner. Like I need another reason to stress eat, right?

Just for fun, here’s the trailer to the movie Alien

 

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Mommy Insomnia

14 Wednesday Dec 2011

Posted by Jackie in General Mommentary

≈ 5 Comments

When I actually sleep through the night, I feel like a human being. When I don’t, I feel like I need to eat carbs and drink caffeine continuously throughout the day in order to get through even the most mundane tasks. It used to be if my children slept through the night, I felt half-way human. Rolling into the office on four hours of sleep was a norm, so Ibuprofen and tea were my best friends. (Not so good for my health, hence why I chose the independent consulting route, although I still like to consider tea my BFF, after my husband, kids, dog, and dearest family and friends.) My hormones recently turned 40 too, causing me to experience random bouts of hormone-induced insomnia. When I do sleep, it’s glorious. I’m talking about 6 ½ straight hours. Nothing major, just uninterrupted sleep. Sleep without being awakened by my kids.  Sleep without making that ubiquitous mommy list at 1 a.m., circa Sarah Jessica Parker. Sleep without freaking out about how much I need to do the next day or stressing that I’m going to be too tired to do it. Sleep without glancing at the clock at 12:13 a.m., 1:23 a.m., 3:02 a.m., 4:02 a.m. and counting how many more hours I can sleep without oversleeping and forgetting to get up in time for get my kids ready for school. I once slept until 7:52 a.m. and was the ONLY person up in my family. (This NEVER used to happen when the kids were little. They would run into our room at the crack of you know what and get me out of bed. I loved seeing their little bodies jump in the middle of our bed, but didn’t look forward to the exhaustion that followed.) Now that they are older, 7 and 10, they tend to sleep later, which is a blessing and a curse. Basically, this means if I don’t get up, no one else does. (Including my husband, who has a gift of being able to fall asleep instantly.)

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