Do you suffer from discount addiction? Red tag retail therapy? Check out my guest blog post on scary mommy today, where I share one of my own scary mommy confessions. Famous Scary Mommy blogger, Jill Smokler, has written a new book, Confessions of a Scary Mommy. Check it out!

I recently ran into a mommy acquaintance at the grocery store. I call her that because I honestly don’t know her name and I don’t know much about her, except the fact that she lives in the same town. But she always walks around acting like a snotty you-know-what. Hello, we’re not in high school any more.  So, we crossed paths every other aisle. I always smile at her, but she never smiles back. When we get to the deli section, she acts rudely to the woman working behind the counter and doesn’t even pretend to be polite. She honestly acts like she has a stick up her butt. The last straw for me was when I tried to make small talk with her at the check-out line. When she blatantly ignores me, I know I’ve hit my limit. When was the last time you encountered a mean mommy? Share your story here, without naming names, of course.

Enter a raffle and read a review of my book, “How to spread sanity on a cracker” at sweetiesfreebies.com

Like the movie Mean Girls, there are mean moms out there who don’t know how to play nice. They thrive on bullying other moms by making them feel inadequate. Although I can be sarcastic, I like to consider myself a nice mom. I can’t stand it when other moms act like brats.

Mean Girls movie clip.

Do you have mommy friends who ONLY make desserts from scratch? I know a couple who would probably have passed out if they ever saw me running straight from the bakery to my kids’ school birthday parties. I adore my friends who are gifted in the kitchen, but there are some mommies out there who I believe have a mission of making other non-from-scratch-baking-mommies feel inadequate. What’s up with this? Hello, aren’t we all living in the 21^st century? Aren’t we all crazed? Aren’t we all trying to just get by? Get over yourself. Share your rants and recipes here.

Here are some easy cupcake recipes.

So my son and I are listening to the radio on the way to school the other day. We’re both singing along to one of his favorite pop songs (one that I’m beginning to like now to my friends’ dismay). As soon as the song ends, the DJ starts rambling on about something. Before I know it, the DJ announces that Lady Gaga’s secret to younger-looking skin is spinach and orgasms. I felt like I was in slow-motion, reaching for the off switch. I hit that button so fast, you could barely hear the “O” word. But OM goodness! I’m no Tipper Gore, but really? It was 8:15 a.m. and my son is 10. He’s too old for KidzBop, but WAY too young for this stuff. Thankfully, it was over his head. He didn’t even suspect a thing. Had he caught on, I would have resorted to leaving the radio off until he turns 15. (Or maybe simply asking him to put on his proverbial “ear muffs” just as Vince Vaughn did in Old School.)

Ear Muff It For Me, Old School.

Brownies alone (even without the SNL Brownie Husband) are like a cross between chocolate cake and fudge, and that, my friend, is all this mom needs.

Check out this recipe for amazing brownies.

Ingredients:

• 1 cup butter
• 2 cups sugar
• 4 eggs
• 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 2/3 cup cocoa powder
• ¼ teaspoon salt
• ½ teaspoon baking powder

1. Preheat oven to 350F. Butter and flour a 9×13 inch baking pan or casserole dish.

2. In a large saucepan over moderate heat, melt the butter. Remove from heat.

3. In a small bowl, lightly whip the eggs. Stir sugar and vanilla into eggs and set aside.

4. In a separate bowl, shift together flour, cocoa powder, salt and baking powder.

5. Add sugar mixture to melted butter and mix well. Add flour mixture to sugar mixture and mix just until combined – about fifty strokes with a wooden spoon.

6. Spread batter into the prepared pan and bake in the preheated oven for 25-30 minutes. Do not over bake!

7. Frost brownies while they are still warm with Frosting for Brownies, and allow to cool completely before slicing.

Serves: 24 generous brownies

The Frosting

Ingredients:

• 1 ¼ cups butter
• 1 ¼ cups cocoa powder
• ¼ cup honey
• 2 tablespoons vanilla extract
• 3 cups powdered sugar

1. Over low heat in a small saucepan, melt butter.
2. Stir in remaining ingredients and beat to combine. Pour warm frosting over      brownies while they are still warm, and allow to set. Allow brownies to      cool completely before cutting.

I may have mentioned before that I’m a chocoholic. Not one who eats it every now and then, but a shameless chocoholic whose hormones depend on some form of the dark stuff on a daily basis. A friend recently shared a link to a hilarious Saturday Night Live skit starring Tina Fey called “The Brownie Husband”. I died laughing from the first scene. The skit speaks for itself. I’m not saying that a chocolate brownie should ever permanently replace your life partner, but it can be a pretty satisfying temporary replacement.

SNL’s “Brownie Husband”:

My pink booth at the Red Tent event. I’m so excited, I’m turning red. OK, I’ll calm down. Here’s the scoop: I’ll be participating in the Fourth Annual Red Tent Day for Women at the Rhodes on the Pawtuxet this Sunday, March 4 and hope you can join me if you live close by. Look for my PINK booth in a sea of red, as I unveil my new gift book, How to Spread Sanity on a Cracker: Mom-to-Mom Whines, Cheese, Rants & Recipes!

The Red Tent Day is a special day of pampering for women, featuring a swanky array of vendors with proceeds going to the RI Crisis Assistance Center. It takes place at the Rhodes on the Pawtuxet, at 60 Rhodes Place in Cranston, RI from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. (Local Rhode Islanders pronounce it Crrrraaaaaaaannnnsston, which may help if you get lost.) Expect everything from manicures to pedicures, yoga and massages and beyond! Tickets are only $20 and go to a great cause. Visit www.redtentri.com for more details.

• The horrors of shopping with kids
• How to make Tex-Mex Dip
• What to do when your child gets a potty seat stuck to her head
• The recipe for gourmet Cheddar Cheese Dip with Dried Figs

With the New Year comes a national obsession of trying to get back into shape. As if our bodies forget that we don’t exercise before January 1? I’ve found that some people keep up a routine for five weeks (beginning in January) and then stop the rest of the year. I, on the other hand, have a more consistent approach to trying to stay in decent shape. A rather lame one, but one that works for me. You see, I exercise so I can feel good (and essentially, eat more). If I don’t work out at least three to four times a week, my husband says, I act like something that rhymes with “switch”. I can’t help it. I enjoy eating and I have to find a balance. But when I open my door and it is pitch black, 25 degrees and my driveway is a sheet of ice, I have to resort to my lowest, lamest calorie-burning denominator. Running in place. And a few floor exercises. My kids have found me in my room, running in place while watching 30 Rock repeats many a morning. My son will clap and jog around the room, saying,” Come on, ladies, you can do it.” My daughter will do leg lunges, saying, “Feel the burn, girls. Feel the burn”. At this point, I can’t stop giggling, but at least I’m doing something. I do venture outside and go to the local YMCA too. I like to jog with my overgrown puppy dog and go to the occasional Yoga class. I’ve done a couple triathlons over the past decade, but I’m not obsessed. Let’s just say I was the only woman to finish the Danskin triathlon riding a mountain bike with a kick stand. OK, so I got the bike off of CraigsList during the recession. It’s all good. Just do what works for you.

When the wind blows every leaf from the neighborhood onto my lawn and my wool sweaters beg to be dry cleaned, I know it’s time. Time for winter. Time for the holiday season. The season for hats and hot chocolates. The season for skates and skis. And, God bless, the season for stress eating. This year, as soon as the hint of burning chimneys reach my nose, I find myself in the pantry looking for leftover Halloween candy. Rifling through the freezer for frozen pizza. And piling whipped cream over every freaking hot beverage known to man. I know I’m not an animal. I’m a human being. But something in me tells me it’s time to hibernate for the winter. Meaning it’s time to stress eat.

Stress eating does something miraculous for my sanity. Please don’t spoil it for me. Because, as long as I exercise here and there, I feel I can justify the expansion of my thighs a little longer.

Here’s a fun link to my favorite winter beverage on a stick.