Everywhere you look, there’s snow. Not just an inch or so. But piles.

Even my dogs are tired of it.

It’s stacked so high, there’s practically nowhere else for them to go!

If you close your eyes for a minute, you’d swear you’re in Russia and not Rhode Island. (And no, I don’t mean, in a Chicken-of-the-Sea-Jessica-Simpson-way that I think Russia is actually geographically close to us. I simply mean this place is starting to look a lot like the set of Rocky IV.)

We went to Arizona a couple weeks ago, and I’m surprised we came back. Yeah yeah, so the kids had school and practice and we have work and other responsibilities. But it was so awesome to be in a warm climate during the winter. Especially THIS winter. I think the Vitamin D overload from all the Arizona sun made me delirious. That has to be the only reason I made it to the airport.

Growing up in Texas, I have to admit I appreciate having four separate seasons. Rather than Houston’s Summer-Spring-Summer-Spring we actually have Summer, Fall, Winter and Spring here in Rhode Island. But it has taken me YEARS to get used to winter. Every year, I’m still surprised at just how long the winter lasts. I think I stay in a perpetual state of Vitamin-D-deficiency-induced denial. When we first moved back to ‘lil Rhody 11 years ago, I’ll never forget showing up at work in sandals. It was after Easter, so I kind of had a Stacy-and-Clinton-what-to-wear Texas style obligation. (It was 45 degrees when I left the office.) Had it not been for my space-heater, I think I would have lost my toes.

In Texas, we’d go back-to-school shopping for fall clothes when it was 95 degrees outside. We shopped for cute long-sleeve Contempo Casual tops and Forenza sweaters because we got chilled from the blasted air conditioning.

God I miss those days.

Although it rained part of the time we were in Arizona, when the sun did finally make its debut, it stayed. For days. And as I lay poolside sipping a Heineken, that Arizona sun pumped me up with so much Vitamin D, I was on a natural high that made Kelly Ripa look depressed.

Unfortunately, it’s been a couple weeks since we’ve been home and my sunshine-buzz wore off about as fast as a mall manicure.

As February break comes to an end, (yahoooo!) I have to say, I’ve had it. This white stuff is pretty and all, but I’m kind of done. I’m happy it’s melting. Yes, it can go away now. And although I love my children dearly, they can go back to school now too. I’ve been shoveling and hosting so many play dates, I’ve been falling into my bed at night from exhaustion. I’m already rehearsing my morning “bu-byes”.

But as my husband always reminds me, you can find the positive in anything if you just put your mind to it.  (Dang it! Why is he always right?!) OK, OK, there are SOME things I LIKE about the snow.

12 Things to LIKE about the snow:

1. If you forgot to do the leaves in November, no one will notice until March.
2. You can wear the same pants for several days in a row and no one will ever know.
3. If you have pale skin, you can hibernate like a vampire until the spring.
4. You can go weeks, even months without a pedicure and I promise it will NOT matter.
5. Got staticky hair? Just throw on a hat. Waah lah, you’re good to go.
6. If you went a little overboard on Lindt truffles for four months straight, you have until May to become best friends with your treadmill.
7. If you’ve missed a few work outs, pick up a shovel. You’ll be breaking a sweat in no time.
8. If you’re not a fan of your outfit, you can cover it up with a huge winter coat.
9. Got dry crackly hands? No worries! Just cover them with gloves.
10. You can justify indulging in hot chocolate every day. If you’re not lactose intolerant, pile it high with whipped cream and add some shaved chocolate. It boosts your mood and builds character. (And might actually put a smile on your face.)
11. You can tell the kids to go play outside and nine times out of 10 they will happily slide on their snow pants if it’s snowing out, (giving you just enough time to watch Netflix in peace).
12. Go sledding with your kids. I promise it’ll make you smile…and pee a little.

I think the old saying may be true: The more things change, the more they stay the same.

As soon as I start feeling like I’m succeeding as a mother, reality takes a sip of my Seltzer and spits it back in my face.

And I become….a Smother. (Yes, like Mrs. Goldberg, pictured below from the very funny modern-day-80’s-comedy.) I can’t help it! I just love my kids so much!

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

I may no longer be new to motherhood, but I’m still hard on myself and often oblivious of my smothering. (Please keep reading and you’ll understand what I mean). (I promise, after this long Jackie-tangent, to get to a point!) 🙂

When my kids were really young, I was very hard on myself. If my son didn’t succeed at potty training every week, I felt like a failure. I honestly felt like I had failed as a mother. I have to admit, I got a little Smotherly in my potty training rituals.

As soon as I woke up, my boy was on that little potty. He was on it before play time, Callou time, before swim, after swim, before book time, before bed time. You get the idea.

And if he didn’t go, I wasn’t much fun to be around. Just ask my husband.

I was OBSESSED.

With my daughter, I was a little more relaxed at first. She was 20 months and started going on the potty successfully and I felt like I had won the Lottery. Then we flew home from Disney and I could smell a foul odor the minute we landed at TF Green Airport. Before I even had a chance to put her dirty tights in a plastic bag, I felt that familiar feeling. She went back to her old, smelly ways for several months.

I felt like I was the worst mother in the world.

My kids were behind. I thought for sure they would end up going to second grade in pull-ups.

But you know what?

They didn’t.

Before their third birthdays, they each “got it”. Barely any accidents, boom, they were trained.

For good.

All my SMOTHERING hard work paid off.

So I guess I wasn’t the worst mother in the world after all.

Now, things have changed.

Or have they?

My kids are 10 and 13, and I’m proud of them. I try to back off and not smother them too much. (Well…sometimes.)

Now we have a new member of our family.

Yes, we took home a new eight-week-old puppy this weekend. A beautiful, English cream Golden Retriever who stole my heart the moment I saw her. And our five year old Golden, Marley, has been taking to our Maggie really well. Like any envious big brother with a gentle heart. He may give her questionable looks and steal her toys, but he also drops them on the floor to share with her as well.

I can’t help it. Having these two new “kids” reminds me of those early years as a new mother.

The first night, despite my putting Maggie in her crate at 11 p.m. and getting up at 3:45 a.m. and again at 5:30 a.m. to let her out to do her business. Each time, she ate snow or bounced around, came inside and did her business…inside. On a towel.

I felt like once again, I had failed as a mother.

So I removed the towel. Sprayed some “No Go” on the floor and tried again. Several more times.

This time, I froze …and tried to let it go. I watched Marley run outside, and allowed her to follow her big brother. She jumped up and watched Marley as he sniffed around for the perfect place to do his doody. Then she copied Marley. When he was done, she tucked in her backside, sniffed around and then..all I could see was YELLOW SNOW. She did it! Maggie PEED! She peed outside! I was literally hooting and hollering like a giddy girl. She did it!

She peed outside! Maggie did it!

She did it again and again, all day long.

So yay, I hadn’t failed as a mother smother.

She needed to figure it out on her own. And the less I intervened…and relaxed a little, the better off she was.

I’m not going to lie, she woke up and had an accident on the floor today. Once. But I know it’s going to take time. She’s eight-and-a-half-weeks old for crying out loud.

True, the more things change, the more they stay the same. Once a mother smother, always a smother mother.

But that doesn’t mean I can’t try to be a little less hard on myself. And them.

And try to back off …and let nature take its course.