Remember mom jeans?

The light-wash denim jeans your mom wore when you were a kid?

Tapered at the leg, puffy, high-waisted and faded?

Like the jeans parodied on Saturday Night Live: http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/mom-jeans/n11727/

Well, if you’ve been jeans’ shopping lately, you may be in for a rude awakening, my friends. When you see what’s on trend for high-fashion jeans these days, you’ll notice there’s not a lot to choose from (for moms). The trend ranges from “super skinny” to “baggy boyfriend” jeans.

Super Skinny Jeans – Who can fit into these anyway??

Baggy Boyfriend Jeans are back – OH THE HORROR!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hmmm. Those boot-cut style jeans from 2008 are looking pretty awesome, aren’t they?

Boot-cut jeans – my favorite!

I have to say, my boot-cut style jeans may not necessarily be in the “ON TREND” section of any fashion magazine right now, but they work for me.

They fit great.

They hide my flaws.

And they’re comfortable.

For the love of…. I think I may be turning into my mother.

Unfortunately, because I’m relying on the boot cut style so much when it comes to denim, it makes me cringe at how soon they too will be parodied on SNL as the next generation of…dare I say it….MOM JEANS!

Wait, could my jeans already BE considered mom jeans?

When I walk by a pack of tweens, do they snicker at my jeans? (OR just me?)

Am I turning into one of THOSE MOMS?

Oh no!!!!!!!!!!!

You know you’re heading into MOM JEANS’ TERRITORY when…

  1. You try on a pair of skinny jeans, and your body physically rejects them.
  2. Even if you don’t have thunder thighs or a muffin top, squeeze on a pair of skinny jeans and wa-laa, you get them instantly!
  3. Consuming more than a carrot stick while wearing skinny jeans could be hazardous to your health. (My belly once bloated up like a balloon after having a carton of Greek yogurt and I could hardly breathe.)
  4. Skinny jeans and baggy boyfriend jeans are looks that can only be carried off by two types of people: High fashion models and teens that weigh 80 pounds. (There could be some overlap here.)
  5. When you try on a pair of (stretchy) skinny jeans that miraculously fit in the leg, the crotch never fits, making you look …like a stripper. Oh, I said it.
  6. You begin to understand WHY your mom wore elastic waist jeans back in the day. OK, so I’m 35 years away from being an elastic waist Golden Girl, but it sure would feel good to not have to suck it in and zip up every day.
  7. You’re hesitant to embrace the baggy “boyfriend jeans” trend (worn by everyone in Hollywood) because they take any figure flaw since having children and manage to make it look 10 times worse.
  8. You haven’t tapered and rolled the leg of your jeans since graduating from high school.
  9. You haven’t worn overalls since the 1980’s and there is NO way you’re saying yes to this trend unless you start getting paid to work on a ranch with Ms. Hilton.
  10. Who needs jeans anyway? Forget jeans. You’re perfectly fine wearing cute riding pants that allow you to move around, eat and BREATHE!