Tag Archives: toddlers

Dear Mom in Aisle 5

27 Wednesday May 2015

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Dear mom in aisle 5, yeah you, with the baby and totally rambunctious toddler.

Dear lordy, do I feel your pain…especially when you beg them to “Get back here right now.”

I understand your strain…when they won’t listen.

I know why you’re not even trying to crack a fake smile.

Or pretend to leisurely walk through the aisle.

Or trying to do anything but LEAVE THE STORE AS SOON AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE.

With the kids.

And your reusable bags.

And your dignity.

I feel you.

I hear you.

Heck, I WAS you.

I just want you to know that I’ve been there.

We’ve ALL been there.

And it’s OKAY.canstockphoto0273927

You can slap me, but just as the saying goes, I want you to know that this too shall pass.

(Heck, it feels like it passes way too fast when your kids are 11 and 14.)

Even though right now, what you’re going through feels like eternity.

Oh yes, some days, when you have really little ones, the present doesn’t always feel like a gift.

Especially when you’ve had four hours of sleep.

No, the present feels more like a suburban-space ball of snot, chasing and whines. Along with a few hugs, strolls and smiles.

You’re barely holding it together some days, while others you’re on top of the world.

You can throw your middle finger at me, but all I have to say is, hang in there.

Just please have a little faith.

Because one day, they will stop acting like little crazy people.

One day, they will actually stop begging for gum on the way out the door.

One day, believe it or not, they will stop wanting to go with you to the store.

You will no longer feel mortified when you see the entrance sign.

Or worried that people will stare at the mere hint of a whine.

Because one day, you will forget about the sh*tty shopping trips.

The rushing, the trials, the germy licks.

And you’ll stare at the mom with two little tots who act a lot like yours did today.

And you’ll probably give her a wink, a nod, and even a friendly “holy-crap-I’ve-so-been-there-and-I-so-totally-feel-you” wave.

Like I did to you when you weren’t looking today in Aisle 5.

MomoPause

30 Wednesday Apr 2014

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I may occasionally break down when I see baby pictures of my kids.

I may have a “moment” when I remember that my son recently became a teenager. Gulp.

I may sometimes obsess over my kids like the “Smother” in TV’s The Goldbergs (minus the 1980’s AquaNet-hair).
But I have a little secret to share with you.
It has taken me a dozen years, 1,000 sleepless nights, 300-some-odd tantrums, hundreds of cups of green tea, a dozen birthday parties, a dumpster-worth of diapers, 457 trips to Target, and thousands of vats of dark chocolate, but I’ve made it through the poop storm of motherhood.
I’ve finally reached MomoPause.

MOMOPAUSE

Not menopause, but MomoPause.
That Sweet Spot in a mother’s life. The calmer years between toddlerhood and true teenagery. (And yes, I made up that word.) That time when you can actually travel with your kids and, oh I’m writing it out loud, ENJOY the trip. When you can go to the bathroom by yourself for five minutes…in peace. That pause where no one pees or poops on you or in front of you.
And….your kids still like you.
I know it may not last long.  It may disappear in the morning. But I’m enjoying every second, let me tell you.
The sweet spot isn’t just a myth.
Oh, it’s real. So fantabulous, I think I may be dreaming.
You know you’ve reached MomoPause when:
–        You can actually carry on a phone conversation without hitting the mute button every five seconds.
–        You don’t have kids hanging off of you, yelling “Mommy, mommy, mommy” every time you go shopping.
–        You no longer get wicked looks from other passengers when you sit your kids next to them on a plane.
–        You can take your kids out to a restaurant and actually finish dinner…together.
–        You have time to wash AND condition your hair.
–        You don’t show up to business meetings with spit up on your sleeve.
–        You wake up to an alarm clock.
–        Your youngest can take a shower by herself (and it doesn’t make you nervous).
–        You can enjoy a family movie that’s not animated.
–        You remember what “quiet” sounds like.
–        Your kids no longer cling to you, but they’re not appalled by you either.
–        You look back on even the most insane mommy moments with a great big smile because you know they were special,  and you treasure all of them, but you’re also relieved that some of the tough years are behind you. Although you realize some very tough years are in front of you, deep inside, you know that because of what you’ve been through, you can get through anything…and it’s not a crime to pause and smell the roses right now.