There are some things that never get old. Listening to 80’s Madonna songs on Pandora, watching clips of classic Saturday Night Live episodes, re-reading a good book and eating sweets with my kids during their school vacation. (Or any day of the week, for that matter.) We just stopped by a chocolate shop and treated ourselves to some lusciousness after hitting the slopes. We are exhausted but relaxed, and this inspired me to re-post one of my old favorite blog posts, featuring SNL’s The Brownie Husband.

It’s been one heck of an odd week. And for the love of Amy Poehler, tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. And there’s nothing you can do to change that fact. (Especially when the new oven you ordered was supposed to arrive on Saturday but due to the blizzard, isn’t coming in for another week.) If I have to make one more thing using our Panini maker, I’m going to snap. And I digress.

What CAN a mother do?

1. You CAN pull on a swanky apron and bake tiny pink cupcakes with your daughter’s cupcake maker that Santa thankfully gave her. And decorate them with pink, white and red frosting! Wah-la!

2. You can also use the contraption to bake tiny muffins, tiny pancakes, tiny cookies and brownies. (And anything else you want to keep warm, Tommy Boy.)

3. You CAN make crafty hearts with doilies and construction paper.

4. Tie a pink and red ribbon to your dog’s collar. Even if he’s a male, your kids will appreciate it.

5. You CAN try to come up with something else silly to give your husband so he doesn’t think you forgot about him, even though you don’t really need to celebrate Valentine’s Day to show how much you adore him.

6. You CAN grill him another meal using the Panini maker! And then have wine to level out your temporary mommy insanity.

Our annual tradition on February 14th? We trade gag gifts. And lots of chocolate. My husband gave me candy and Pajama Jeans last year. No, I’m not kidding. It’s part of our Valentine’s Day tradition. I have to say, it really takes the pressure off of this pseudo holiday. For both of you, really. Just go to the Dollar Store and buy the first thing you see and boom, wa-lah, the thought is there. Pressure’s off.

We ALWAYS buy each other thoughtful gifts for our birthdays, Christmas and our anniversary. But this holiday isn’t really big for us. It’s all about the kids. We’ve been married for 17 years, so I highly recommend bringing the expectation level down a notch or two for people who have been together as long as we have. It’s entirely up to you!

And, in case you’re wondering, yes, I still wear my Pajama Jeans. (Just not beyond the driveway.) Happy Valentine’s Day!

What a long weekend. I’m talking about Blizzard Nemo. Not the clown fish, but the crazy New England storm that blew this mother away. And made me grateful for every little thing. Like dry socks. Your kids. Husband. Kind neighbors. And fresh milk.

Let’s just say we built a lot of snow forts and memories this weekend. Our kids got to play in the snow for three days straight. They had no school Friday, when the snow first started to fall. They spent hours upon hours playing with other kids in the neighborhood. But unfortunately, they came inside to a freezing house because we lost power the first night of the storm. Growing up in Texas, I’ll admit I know a heck of a lot more about hurricane preparedness than blizzard preparedness.

I never thought we’d lose power in the middle of the winter. And I never fathomed how cold my house would feel WITHOUT heat. (I walked around in ski pants for three days (with last season’s ski passes still hanging from the zipper). I’m just now starting to feel my legs again! We used our truck to charge phones. We lent out shovels, fire logs, and anything we could find. We thanked our lucky stars for the neighbor who has a plow truck. We caught up with the neighbors and even joined them for a blizzard block party.

But things got more serious when the sun went down. Thankfully, we have a fireplace. It was our lifeline. We used it to roast our buns, ski bibs, and breakfast bagels. My husband and I dragged our Queen-size mattress down stairs so we could have a slumber party in front of the fireplace. He took the cot and gave us the mattress. It was a lot of fun cuddling up with the kids, dog, some snacks and a mile of blankets in front of the fire. We used what little battery power was left on the iPad to fire up a movie. We had licorice, cookies and fruit. We were all smiles. Until the fire went out.

My husband spent hours working outside and was sound asleep by 10 p.m. So I was on fireplace night shift. I’d wake up every couple hours, slap my face with a cold hand and put more fire logs on. Another hour or two later, I’d rally and repeat. By 5:30 a.m., my contacts were plastered to my eyeballs, but that was the least of my worries. I was checking my kids to make sure they were warm, positioned in the middle of the mattress, away from the drafty window panes but not too close to the fire. I had become a true mama bear, protecting my cubs from the bitter cold. God bless Laura Ingalls Wilder! How she got through those pioneer winters without North Face ski pants is beyond me.

After going without power in the winter, you start thinking about what’s most important in life. All the frivolous stuff flies out the chimney. Now, there were a lot of people that had it really bad during the storm. Some weren’t so lucky. We were. Although it was scary at times, we never had it bad. We got through it and now, our power is back on and our lives are pretty much back to normal. I have taken two showers. I’m starting to feel human again.

And most of all, we will always have the memories. One day, my kids will tell their grandkids about the Blizzard of 2013! (With a few extra inches of snow added in there, I’m sure!) “We had to walk up hill both ways!”

Going through all this makes you think about what NOT to do next time. So I wanted to share this little list with you.

What NOT to do the next time the weather man predicts a blizzard.

1. Underestimate the weather man.
2. Make fun of the old RI “Milk and Bread” mentality. (Or anyone who tells you to over-buy before a storm.) P.S. They are wicked smart.
3. Think that the power will never go out.
4. Forget to buy extra UNSCENTED candles.
5. Forget to take a load of clean socks out of the washer and place them into the dryer BEFORE the power goes out.
6. Give your dog a bone that causes stomach upset. Poopsicles are not fun, especially during a blizzard.
7. Forget to run the dishwasher just because it’s not full.
8. Schedule your new oven to arrive the same day as the storm. (Long story, we’ve been without an oven for two weeks now.)
9. Load your refrigerator with dairy products.
10. Argue with your husband about the life and death of any and all dairy products.
11. Panic about everything.
12. Eat all the chocolate in the house before the power goes out.
13. Eat all the chocolate chips too.
14. Leisurely add every Ritz cracker in the cupboard to your soup the day before the first snow fall and forget to buy a new package.
15. Think that cold leftover Thai food will qualify as a meal.
16. Forget to leave the fun board games in the darkest part of the basement where you swear Mike Meyers has been waiting for you since Halloween.

 

Ever had one of “those” days? Not since my kids were really little (and I would have to hide in a closet so I could conduct conference calls in peace) have I felt so disheveled. (When I’d feel so overwhelmed, walking to the mailbox was considered an accomplishment.)

Pardon my venting, but I’ve got to get this out:

My son is home sick today. My husband works from home. And we’re having work done on the house.

It’s like a hat trick of frustration for any sane work-from-home mom.

It’s all good. I know. Don’t get me wrong. I’m thankful that I get to do fractions with my son and drag out some of my dusty sixth grade brain cells. I’m grateful that I get to spend time with my sweet kid. I’m grateful that we’re finally getting the ceiling fixed in our kitchen and on the second floor too. The workers are really nice and so talkative, they make me look shy. I’m also grateful that my husband works from home. (OK, most days. Like when I have meetings and I get a little break. Sorry, honey. You know I love you. Just need a little space.)

I mean, really? I can’t get anything done today and we’re trapped inside my tiny home office. Without an ounce of motivation. To top it off, my dog is trapped inside with us (or else he would lick the workers to death). I have a feeling he consumed some yard hors d’oeuvres earlier because his breath smells like a city zoo.

Why on a day when my to-do list is overflowing? Sorry, but I’m having one of those days. A day where every time I try to focus and be productive, someone calls for me. Knocks on the door. Walks into the one room we’re trapped in.  Asks for something. There’s banging. Sanding. Talking. More talking. More banging. I think I feel a twitch coming on.

I’ll stop now. I know life is good. I just needed to get this out. I’m feeling better already – thanks!

Believe it or not, your baby will be a tween one day. Oh, it’s coming. My son, yes, my first born child, my baby, is 11. He’s a sweetheart, but growing up fast. And I’m stuck in mommy denial. For starters, we don’t exactly speak the same language. I grew up in Texas spouting Valley Girl 80’s lingo. If you grew up in the 80’s or even 90’s, these phrases are probably familiar to you. (Like totally familiar.)

Awesome

Whatever

Like TOTALLY

Oh my G*d

Chill out

Crackin’ up

Not even

So familiar, you probably, like totally still use them every day, to your kids’ dismay. These less popular slang phrases have faded away thankfully, like acid wash mom jeans:

Radical

Barf me out

Eat my shorts

Gnarly

Tubular

According to my tween son, I’ve been told that I’m a great mom, but it’s evident (especially when I’m dancing in the kitchen to a Bananarama song, that I’m uncool). It is what it is. And to make it worse, there are new versions of slang words kids use now, just in case we need justification for our perpetual un-coolness level.

So, like a typical mom of a tween, I’ve started jotting down “cool phrases” and have a short list of translations. This is something I created for my own mommy sanity level. Be careful not to incorporate these words into your everyday vocabulary when talking to your tween, which can make it even worse. It makes it look like you’re trying too hard. (Think Amy Poehler in Mean Girls.) Just use it as a reference guide and please, by all means, add your own phrases in the comments section. We can use all the help we can get!

(Just to clarify, the phrases to the left are OUT!)

Whatever – Whatevs

Chill out – Chillax

Crackin’ up – Lol

Oh my G*d – OMG

Weird – Wack

Awesome – Sick

Cool – Phat

Adorable – Adorbs

Dude – Dawg

All right – Aiight

Bu-bye – Peace out

Rock it – Own it

Psyched – Stoked

Fabulous – Fashizzle

Done – O-v-e-r

Peace out, dawgs!

Winter is so very here. And after the Patriots’ disappointing loss on Sunday, I think my family went into a state of collective mid-winter post-Patriots shock and pseudo depression yesterday. So, we did what many Patriots fans did. We went to bed in a state of shock. Then we woke up, wallowing in “what-if’s”. We complained, lost sleep, and over-ate to try to forget about the game. Then we got over ourselves and remembered what Martin Luther King Day is all about.

We ordered take-out, played board games by the fire, watched movies, drew pictures and had a blast connecting silly words together with Banana Grams. Where anyone else would see a word like “art,” my husband would add an “f”, and make us all giggle. It reminded me that life is too short to worry about the weather, or a really bad game. I needed to take a step back and appreciate these wintry, cozy days.

Here are 10 cheap tips to help your family beat the winter blahs:

1)      Make hot cocoa. Nothing cheers up kids (and adult chocoholics like me) faster than some good old-fashioned hot cocoa and whipped cream!

2)      Play games. Make sure you have at least two board games in your house that are appropriate for the whole family. If playing “Monopoly” with a five-year-old does not sound inviting, try these: 1) Jenga; 2) Build blocks; 3) Set up a maze of dominos and knock them all down, or 4) Build a fort with blankets.

3)      Build a fire in the fireplace. Have your kids help collect the wood for the fire and let the adults handle the rest!

4)      Go outside. Build a snowman. Go sledding. At least stick your head outside for crying out loud. If there’s no snow, make fun contests like taking turns running around the house; or shooting baskets and playing “P.I.G.” or “H.O.R.S.E.”

5)      Host a playdate. We like our kids to have friends over when it gets a little dull around here. (It also allows you to catch up on dishes.)

6)      Go for a walk in the snow. Take your dog. Pull your toddler with a sled. There’s nothing better than a little exercise and fresh air to combat cabin fever! When you see your 90-year-old neighbor doing it, there is no excuse, so grab your coat and go!

7)      Get lost in a book. My daughter compares reading a good book to “a movie playing inside your head.” And my son loves reading too. If your kids aren’t old enough to hide in their own rooms for a book break, try reading a book together as a family. Take turns if they are old enough.

8)      Bake something. Make cookies, brownies or cupcakes. Pretend to be Buddy from Cake Boss, complete with an apron and a fun baking challenge.

9)      Go offline. Turn off your cell phones, computers and video games for a few hours as a family. Take a break from it all. Do something else like draw, swap stories or make a craft. When was the last time you made something with a carton of milk or a paper plate? Use your imagination!

10)   Host a movie night, complete with popcorn and cookies. Grab all the blankets and pillows in the house and cuddle up together. Before you know it, your kids will be off to college and they won’t want to spend evenings together as a family!

In case you didn’t catch the style news, green is in again. I don’t know about you, but prior to this memo, the closest thing I had to green in my wardrobe was frantically searching for something in the back of my closet the morning of St. Patrick’s Day that had a dash of green in it. Sometimes, I would dig for 20 minutes and end up with a dark olive green tank, circa 1999 or a faded not-exactly-kelly-green t-shirt that I would wear in spite of myself.  So I broke down and bought a new bright green Pashmina scarf this week. Yes, I hid it in my trunk overnight so my husband wouldn’t notice it right away. (Which he did, the very next day, and shook his head when I told him it was on sale.)

Unfortunately, for everyone in my life, it is January. And this means I tend to get into a New England winter wardrobe rut. Meaning I will repeat the same t-shirt, sweater or scarf that I really like over and over again, for weeks on end. Yes, I shower. Yes, I wash my clothes. But I will repeat things until they can practically walk on their own.

My daughter recently brought this to my attention, “Mommy, that looks cute, but are you going to wear THAT AGAIN?”

“Yes….I am.”

I have managed to wear the same look – jeans tucked into black riding boots – every day since Thanksgiving. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I wake up, work out, shower, work and put on my uniform. When I have a meeting, I will wear my “work look” version of this outfit by switching out the jeans for black pants and a dressy shirt and blazer.

I have to apologize in advance because I will probably wear this poor scarf for 17 days straight without even realizing it. Until my daughter peels it off of me and starts wrapping her baby dolls in it.  Go green!

I woke up yesterday, took a look in the mirror and saw something staring back at me that scared the Bart Simpson out of me. A wide rear. A large bottom. As in, “Oh my guuuaaah, Becky, look at her butt. It… is…. SO…….BIG.” Oh, yeah, baby got back. I’m sorry, but this calls for a little link from Sir Mix-a-Lot to get you going: http://vimeo.com/43933877

I’m happy. And I’m healthy, (if you turn the other cheek when I have a chocolate bar in my hand). But something happens when you hit your 40’s, my friend. Your metabolism starts changing. It starts to relax, chill out, and practically stop completely. When I was in my 20’s and even 30’s, I could consume half a chocolate cake, go for a 20-minute jog and burn it off by breakfast the next day. Those days? Those days are o-v-e-r, over.

There you are, just minding your own business, being a mom, still eating the kids’ leftovers, wearing long sweaters, walking the dog, taking a jog or an occasional Pilates class. And boom. Age creeps up on you. On my rear to be more exact. What the?? My sister-in-law said something to me after she turned 40 that really stuck with me like a doughnut on the digestive tract, “You know you’ve hit 40 when you wake up and still feel bloated from whatever you ate the night before.” In other words, that wagon wheel of brie from my sanity brunch a couple Sundays ago? It was with me until last Tuesday.

It’s lunch-time and I can still feel last night’s dessert trying to figure out how it wants to punish me. Will it end up on my back? Under my arms? On my butt? Or maybe it wants to share the love and spread the flab evenly? If I could talk to it, I would say, “Hello, jumbo-size chocolate chip cookie. Yeah, hi. You were really delicious last night. But you see, I took a Pilates class and went for a walk today. So you can go ahead and leave whenever you want. No offense, but I think it’s time to go.” Maybe it will take the hint and sneak out the back tonight? Luckily, I’m making it a goal to exercise more in 2013. And I hope to throw out Chocolate Chip and some of his friends this week. Wish me luck!

Being the daughter of a NASA engineer, I had a good childhood. I was never spoiled but never went without either. I try to instill this in my kids too. My parents taught me something at a young age that has stayed with me like spilled wine on a shag rug: “Never buy something unless it’s on sale.”

This means when you walk into a department store, look for the sale rack. When you’re in a high-end boutique, walk straight to the back and check out what’s on sale. At stores like Target, anything goes. Unfortunately, buying things from the sale rack has cost me more than I’ve bargained for through the years. I have more “orphan” blouses that I never wear (that go with nothing else in my wardrobe) but purchase anyway because they’re on sale. I buy certain investment pieces like handbags and boots at full price, which gives me enough guilt to fill the entire first floor of Nordstrom. I justify this guilt by wearing those pieces over and over again until they can practically stand on their own.

So this week, I head to a store I’m not familiar with to buy three “girly” birthday gifts for my daughter’s friends. I’m trying to plan ahead for a few upcoming kids’ birthday parties, and one mom tells me when it comes to her daughter, this store is, in so many words, the “fashizzle”. So, I decide to try it out. I walk into this store I’ll call “J,” and it feels like I’ve walked into a tween girl’s room on steroids. I find myself surrounded by bright sparkly things from faux-fur pens to PJ pants, monster winter hats to bling-a-ling tee-shirts. Anything and everything an 8-year-old girl doesn’t know she wants until she innocently steps foot in this place. “Thank goodness my daughter is not with me,” is all that goes through my mind. The plan is to walk in, buy three gifts and walk out. Unfortunately, there is a large sign right near a wild winter hat bin that changes everything. “Every item in the store – 40% off.” OK, I’m done. Take my brain out, this mama wants to shop. In my mind, that sign could have read, “You’re an idiot if you don’t buy something.”

Ah, yes, you see, I’m not only addicted to a good sale. But I’m a marketer’s dream. I like stuff that’s colorful and cute…and I like it even more when the cute and colorful items are on sale. Thanks, mom and dad. My husband shakes his head every time I come home with stuff that I purchased just because it’s on sale. I’ve gotten better through the years, but I still suffer from minor “sale” issues.

I start walking around, in a whirlwind, picking up be-jewel-a-fide journals, hats, erasers, pens, etc. As if the word “sale” has unlocked the “logic” button in my head. For no particular reason, I bought my daughter a giant green “oops” eraser the size of my hand because it was on sale. Granted, she already has enough erasers in her desk to last her through high school.  I walk out 45 minutes later with adorable presents for three soon to be 9-year-olds, plus a jumbo eraser, a winter Mohawk hat and a sparkly soccer tee for my daughter.

I hide everything in my trunk, ponder my purchases, and justify that only three of the items are not gifts. I can’t help it. I have no shame when it comes to a good sale!

 

So I finally got together with some dear girlfriends I hadn’t seen in a long time recently. Two live out of state, so it was like a lunar eclipse. We all happened to be in Rhode Island at the same time, so all the stars aligned, and we knew we had to plan it. It was a riot catching up and venting together. In a matter of five hours, we consumed an entire wagon wheel of brie, two insane-in the-membrane cheese dips, a gallon of cut fruit, some wine, chocolate and a quiche the size of my face. It took about 20 emails, a few Twitter messages, several phone calls and some major back-and-forth schedule-maneuvering to make it happen.  But we did it. We didn’t cancel. We didn’t re-schedule. We didn’t let our own crazy lives, from toddlers to teens, get in the way. We made it happen. We didn’t let another year go by without catching up. We knew we had to take advantage of this precious window of sanity-by-brunch opportunity. And boy, did we have some nearly pee-in-your-dressy-jeans moments.

My husband recently got together with a dozen buddies for a Patriots game guys’ night. I swear it took them one email and they were all tailgating. It’s so unfair. The sad part is, had I whipped up a get-together this fast, I’d build up enough of my own manufactured mommy guilt to fill Providence Place Mall.

OK. I adore all my women friends. But why in the name of Jennifer Garner is it so hard to plan things with other women? I realize there are times when schedules get crazed. When we have no free time. When kids get sick. And the sitter’s out of town and our guy isn’t available to watch the kids. But I feel like we could all use a little kick in the rear in this department. Can I get an Amen?