Have you ever had a dream where you’re the one Home Alone?

A few weeks ago, the kids were at sleepovers, my husband was out of town, and my plans with girlfriends got cancelled.

Holy Macaulay Culkin, this actually happened to ME. For realz. They don’t make gift certificates for these kind of fabulous mommy moments.

If you had nothing to do for a glorious evening, you’d read a good book, fold some laundry, grab a glass of wine and call it a night, right?

I thought so too.

Until I turned on Netflix.  And ended up putting the book down. And turning up the volume.

For five hours straight.

I started watching a show. Don’t ask. It’s something you’d never watch with your husband or kids.

  1. OK. So it was…..Carrie Diaries. As in Sex and City’s Carrie Bradshaw. – as a teen. d39c86584a23012d0db0692d07e6ac86

Deep down, I’m a 15 year old, still waiting for my boobs to develop (some things never change) transfixed by this show. Like an addict, I watch the next episode. And the next.

Only the “crack” was coming from the TV screen.

When this happens, you, my friend, are on a Netflix binge-watching bender.

There’s no going back.

The next thing you know, you’ve binge-watched an entire season.

I did this with my parents after my mom had surgery. We binge-watched an entire season of  Downton Abbey.

I have to say, there is less guilt when binge-watching a PBS show. It’s sort of like over-eating scones rather than Twinkies. Something about sophisticated pastries and public television makes you feel more civilized.

When you’ve had it with your kids, your husband, mommyhood. There’s something I can suggest that will keep you from yelling, “Heeeeeeeere’s Johnny” from a frosted window.

  1. Coax your kids (safely) out of the house. Somehow, some way. After all the playdates you’ve hosted, there’s bound to be a grandparent, relative or mom friend who will gladly lend some mommy sanity and host a sleep over.
  2. Plan to reciprocate next weekend. It pays off in the long run. Trust me.
  3. If you can’t find a sleep under or sleepover solution, start after recovering from a cold or flu. (Foot note: Sleep unders are what I call fabulous alternatives to sleep overs, especially when you’re the host because little guests go home before 10 p.m. and you don’t have to deal with kid-sleep-over-versions-of-hang-overs the following day.)
  4. If you’re starting to feel better, pull a Ferris Bueller so you can finish another season.
  5. Gather some snacks, wine (or Z-quil) 😉 and lots of pillows.
  6. Hit the play button, and begin your binge-watching bender.
  7. You may start to feel guilty. Don’t. Just let it happen.
  8. Leave the guilt, take the cannolis. I know, I know. Watching too much television can be bad for us. So can being stuck inside during the winter.
  9. My husband and son once binge-watched two seasons of the Walking Dead during a snowstorm. If you don’t think it’s possible, try it.
  10. If you don’t have Hulu, a DVR or Netflix, try a DVD. Or TV. Never under estimate the power of a commercial break. You can get a lot of reading, laundry or emails done. Or call and cackle out loud with a dear girlfriend. (It’s fabulous.)
  11. If you really want to embrace the moment, switch channels.
  12. Try something new. For example, I NEVER thought I would ever watch Ladies of London. 2b4fe9c500000578-3195657-image-m-160_1439415475852I saw commercials for it and thought, “This is junk. I’ll never watch it.” Then one day, my husband had the TV going in the background while on a conference call. This show was on, with all these pretty women in designer garb, donning BRITISH ACCENTS. The next thing I know? I. Could. Not. Stop. Watching. (The accents helped me feel more cultured.)
  13. Rinse your brain. Turn off the TV. Repeat the next time no one is home!