• Contact
  • Blog
  • Professional ghost writing
  • Bio
  • About
  • Press
  • Jackie’s Book
  • Blogs I Love
  • Where’s Jackie?

Venting Sessions

~ where moms can let it out

Venting Sessions

Daily Archives: January 29, 2015

Could you be turning into a High-Maintenance Sally?

29 Thursday Jan 2015

Posted by Jackie in Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

I beg you to give this some thought.

Could you be turning into a High-Maintenance Sally?

Do you often find yourself, due to dietary restrictions, ordering things ON THE SIDE?

The older I get, the more I realize, to my utter dismay, I may be turning into High-Maintenance Sally.

If you’ve ever seen the movie, When Harry Met Sally, you know what I’m talking about.

There is a scene when Harry Burns, (played by Billy Crystal), says to Sally Albright, (played by Meg Ryan), “There are two kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance.”

Sally replies, “Which one am I?”

“You’re the worst kind; you’re high maintenance but you think you’re low maintenance.”

“I don’t see that.”

“You don’t see that? Waiter, I’ll begin with a house salad, but I don’t want the regular dressing. I’ll have the balsamic vinegar and oil, but on the side. And then the salmon with the mustard sauce, but I want the mustard sauce on the side. “On the side” is a very big thing for you.”

“Well, I just want it the way I want it.”

“I know; high maintenance.”

The older I get, the more I realize I’m starting to become high maintenance.

Maybe just a little.

I’m not trying to be a total pain in the rear.

I blame age. I just often find I need things a certain way, or the poop hits the fan.

Literally.

For example, I used to be fine with no-name-brand detergent.

Not I get a rash.

I used to be fine with no conditioner. (OK, if you’ve seen my high school portrait, I guess I really couldn’t get away with it – I just THOUGHT I could!)

I used to wake up, take a shower, get on my ten speed and go about my day. Three Rave perms a year, and I was set. I could eat ANYTHING on the menu and not worry about a thing.

Even in college, I’d go for a run, take a shower, slap on my jeans shorts and boom, I was set. I could let my hair air dry in the sun and never worry about a thing.

But after two kids and 19 years of marriage, things have started to change.

I NEED a hair dryer.

I get a headache if I order the wrong salad dressing.

I feel nauseous if I eat shellfish.

I skip conditioner for one day and I look like the lead singer of Quiet Riot.

You know you’re becoming High-Maintenance Sally when:

  • You order things ON THE SIDE because you know you’ll end up spending half the  day in bed if you don’t.
  • You try to drink a different beer than your “usual” and you end up with a hangover that lasts for days.
  • Boxed wine makes you gag.
  • Just the mention of the words, “Lemon shot” makes you cringe and want to run to the toilet.
  • You snack on ONE granola bar that happens to have artificial sweetener in it and you get a gnarly migraine.
  • You can’t pluck your eyebrows because they’re too thick and you can’t get them waxed because it causes an allergic reaction that makes you feel like the Elephant Man.
  • You have to drive 20 minutes out of the way, a few times a month, to get your eyebrows professionally THREADED.
  • Wearing cheap earrings actually does cause an ear infection.
  • You HAVE to get your hair colored professionally every 6 to 8 weeks or you look like a Golden Girl.
  • You buy a pair of jeans from the sales rack and the rear splits in half after one wash.
  • You try a new brand of yogurt, just for poops and giggles, and you end up sitting on the potty, not laughing… for
  • I’m really ashamed about this one: You get a horrible headache from the off-brand candle your daughter bought for you from her school store, so you secretly switch it out for a different scent that you can tolerate.
  • You get a rash from off-brand cosmetics.
  • You can’t skip a shower or else you look like Kramer during his bath binge.
  • You convince yourself you need a pair of boots for the rain, another for the snow, another for girls’ nights, another for carpooling and two more because you can’t just have them in black!

Share this:

  • Tweet
  • More
  • Email
  • Share on Tumblr

Like this:

Like Loading...

Find Jackie on Momunity!

Find Jackie on Providence Moms Collective!

Looking for a ghost writer? Contact Jackie today!

Book available on Amazon!

She was a cast member of the 2017 and 2013 Listen to Your Mother Shows!

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Follow Venting Sessions on Facebook

Follow Venting Sessions on Facebook

Latest from Twitter:

  • RT @SheriMcShane: 5 Favorite Halloween Treats whenthekidsgotobed.com/2021/10/15/5-f… 7 months ago
  • Saturday fun: Something Lilly is on sale in my closet! posh.mk/mTjMHSHfEjb 8 months ago
  • Cheers to getting back to a new normal! ventingsessions.com/2021/07/16/che… 10 months ago
  • When you see what this dry cleaner tag says, it might shock you. But then again, we’re all in this together. instagram.com/p/CPYHD1bnZQun… 11 months ago
  • A Lilly dress for how much? Whaaaat? posh.mk/mRMa1kXOfgb 1 year ago
Follow @JackieHennesse1

Archived Posts

Previous Posts

January 2015
M T W T F S S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Dec   Feb »

How to Spread Sanity on a Cracker Wins IndieReader Discovery Award!

I signed books at the Boston Book Festival!

Posts by Category

  • General Mommentary
  • Survey Says
  • Mommy Musings
  • Uncategorized
  • Little Links
  • You’re Still A Good Mom If
  • Random Recipies
  • Oh, Mother

Jackie hosted a fun “wine and cheese” book signing at Books on the Square March 1!

Enjoy wine, cheese dip & a reading with Jackie from 7 p.m. to 8:30 p.m.

Books on the Square in Providence's Wayland Square

Jackie was part of Barnes & Noble Local Authors’ Night!

Jackie joined fellow local authors at the Warwick Barnes & Noble!

Jackie spoke at the Southern New England Women’s Expo

Jackie was a featured presenter at the SENE Women's Expo Sept. 30!

Categories

Mom Bloggers Club

Paypal

Archives

  • July 2021
  • March 2020
  • October 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • December 2018
  • October 2018
  • May 2018
  • February 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • August 2017
  • May 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • September 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011

Blogroll

  • Blog
  • Discuss
  • Get Inspired
  • Get Polling
  • Get Support
  • Learn WordPress.com
  • Susie Brown's web site
  • Theme Showcase
  • WordPress Planet
  • WordPress.com News

  • Follow Following
    • Venting Sessions
    • Join 187 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Venting Sessions
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
loading Cancel
Post was not sent - check your email addresses!
Email check failed, please try again
Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.
%d bloggers like this: