Are you “done” with the cold weather? I know I am. I’ve had it with Farch. (Farch: When March feels more like eff-ing February). This morning, my daughter walked outside wearing more layers than Ralphie’s little brother in the movie Christmas Story. She got to the end of the driveway, turned around and said, “Mom, it’s freezing! Can I please have a ride to school?” Who can blame her? I drove four freezing cold nine-year-olds to school today.
This morning it was 25, but felt like 11. Yes, 11 degrees. In March! IT MAKES NO SENSE. I grew up in Texas and was wearing short sleeves this time of year. (White sandals? Not until after Easter, but short sleeves, oh yes.)
I realize there’s nothing we can do (aside from slowly go insane) to change the fact that yet another snowstorm is heading to Rhode Island. So I thought why not try to look on the bright side.
Before you start throwing snowballs at me, following are some good things about Farch that I have to share with you:
1) In Farch, no one knows how desperately you need a pedicure.
2) You don’t need to expose your un-pedicured toes until June.
3) If your roots are showing, you can just put on a hat.
4) You can get away with wearing practically the same outfit every day in Farch by simply changing out your hat and scarf.
5) The piles of dog poop you forgot to scoop have turned into hard, odorless poopsicles.
6) There’s no yard work to do (except eventually picking up poopsicles).
7) If you’ve gained weight over the winter, you have more time to get in shape before swimsuit season.
8) Because there’s no yard work to do on the weekends, you can justify binge-watching shows on Netflix while folding laundry.
9) Exercising in the cold helps you burn more calories (along with some feeling in your face).
10) If you’re not in the mood to go for a run, you can easily blame it on the weather.
11) If you forget to shave, no one will know (or care) until July!