When and how did the 1980’s movies I watched as a kid suddenly turn into re-makes? Am I really this old? And why weren’t our parents aware that the PG movies we watched had the F-bomb or SH-word in every other scene? When I was 11, we rode our bikes to the movie theater or took the Metro Van (the suburban answer to public transportation) to the mall. It was all about sliding on jelly shoes, scarfing down buttered popcorn and watching the “foxes” from Tiger Beat magazine in action. If you haven’t already caught on, I was that dork that was not fully aware that she was a dork until her older brother hinted this at an impressionable age. I went to see the movie Footloose four times in a row with my best friend. We were 13. I had pictures of Kevin Bacon (oh yes, mini-poster size photos torn from Teen Beat magazine) taped to my bedroom wall. (Along with that poster of Rob Lowe that I think every girl had.) Please tell me I’m not this old. The inappropriate stuff in movies went over my head back then. If you’ve ever seen pictures of me as a pre-teen(and to my childhood friends from Seabrook, Texas, don’t get any big ideas), you’d understand. Let’s just say many of my friends developed early on, and I was not one of them. My bi-level hair style and size 0 Forenza jeans didn’t help much. We tried watching Back to the Future with our 10-year-old recently and had to turn it off after three minutes because of the bad language. There are so many reasons I want my son to love this movie and other movies from the 80’s, but I just can’t do it. One – I’m slowly turning into my mother. I adore her, but I can’t force him to understand. Number two – I don’t need my son to have a potty mouth at this young age just because his mom had a major crush on Michael J. Fox. I won’t have it. Michael J. Fox or no Michael J. Fox, he won’t be able to watch this movie until he’s 15. Holy Schnikes. How did I get this old? When I look in the mirror, I may see another woman’s chins, but inside, I’m still 14.  And I still see Kevin Bacon playing Ren in Footloose, period.

Clip from Footloose, circa 1984.